Hard to Handle
by mandolin28
Summary: Rachel and Finn haven't really spoken since she boarded the 4:25 to NY. While Rachel is chasing her dreams, she is the victim of a hit and run that results in a long recovery. Finn is called as her emergency contact, rushes to her side, and is happy to take care of her as she heals. But, he hasn't been completely honest with her and the secret he holds could tear them apart.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! I am so excited to be beginning another Finchel journey! And, although I love me some fluff, I also love it when there is some angst. I know there have been many stories this summer where one of them is hurt, but this is a little different. So... without further ado...**

_Sirens wailed. Lights flashed. People scurried around her with rushed commands and words of reassurance. Her pain was indescribable, but she was only semiconscious and some mechanism in her body was keeping her from reacting to it. As Rachel lay there on the corner of 9th Avenue and 22nd St with her bike lying a good twenty feet away, her fading thoughts turned to the one source that always calmed her. Finn. She found it ironic that she had spent the last six months so scared for him, worrying about a future that could possibly include war, and it was her who was lying bleeding in the street. Finn. This was going to be so hard on him, she thought. He was stationed God knows where, missing her, trying to become the man he thought he needed to be. All alone. He would be crushed. She pictured him, as she had many times before, throwing himself over her coffin, fighting off anyone who tried to pull him away from her. Visiting the cemetery throughout the years, lying down next to her headstone, talking to her about his life. She really hoped everyone would rally around him to get him through his grief. She suddenly felt herself being lifted from the ground, and for a second, considered the notion that she was leaving her body until she felt the soft material of the stretcher beneath her back. Finn. Does he now how much I love him? Finn. Does he know I would wait for him forever? Finn. Will he know I'm so thankful for what he did for me? Finn._

Finn was sitting up in his bed nodding off while reading his new copy of Acting for Dummies when his phone rang, startling him enough to make him jump. He fumbled for it in his pocket and checked it, seeing a number he didn't recognize.

"Hello?" he answered in a dazed stupor, trying to orient himself with his surroundings.

"Is this Mr. Finn Hudson?" the formal voice on the other end of the line asked, causing Finn to pay better attention.

"Yeah... I mean, yes, I'm Finn Hudson." He wasn't sure who this was so he thought he would at least try to sound like a grown up.

"Mr. Hudson, this is Nurse Valerie Stone at Beth Israel Hospital in New York City."

Finn dropped his book and his breath caught in his throat.

"We have you down as an emergency contact for Rachel Berry, is this correct?"

He cleared his throat, "Uh huh," was all he could manage. His stomach churned.

"We tried her parents, who were also listed, but were unable to reach them."

The room spun. "Um.. they're.. um... they are on a cruise. No cell service." Finn struggled against his rapidly beating heart.

"Well, Mr. Hudson, Miss Berry has been brought in with severe injuries after being involved in a hit and run while riding her bicycle. Her condition is critical but stable and we will be needing someone here to make medical decisions on her behalf. Will you be able to make those decisions?"

Finn swallowed back the contents of his lunch that were trying to make their way back to the surface. How could he answer this when he was devoid of words at the moment? Rachel was lying in a hospital. Critical but stable? He wasn't exactly sure what that meant but it wasn't good.

"Mr. Hudson? I know this is distressing, but I need to know if you will be able to come," the calming voice called to him.

He wiped a tear that escaped before he even knew it was there and cleared his throat forcefully. "I'll be on the first flight out. Please tell me she's gonna be OK." He heard the desperation in his own voice and his breathing sped up again.

"We hope so, Mr. Hudson, just get here as quickly as you can."

The phone fell to the floor and Finn let his head fall into his hands, trying to get himself under control enough to drive. His mind raced with a barrage of thoughts. _She'll be fine. She has to be. But, what if she isn't? No. That's not a possibility. It can't be. I won't let it be. Dammit, Rachel. Why the hell couldn't she just walk like normal people? She had to have that bike. It's not her fault, you ass. Hold on Rach, I'm on my way._

His flight landed at JFK six long hours later. The only ticket available on such short notice was first class and after talking to his Mom, was able to pay for it with her credit card. He hadn't even bothered with more than a small carry on so he quickly got a cab and somehow managed to spit out his destination. When the taxi pulled up in front of the hospital, Finn threw an undetermined amount of cash through the driver's window, probably tipping him exorbitantly, but not really in the mindset to care. He ran, full speed, to the admissions desk and was directed to the 6th floor, ICU. He was out of breath when he rounded the corner to the nurse's station, asking for Nurse Stone. He was immediately met with the caring smile of a middle aged woman with soft features and a soothing voice.

"Mr. Hudson," she said, extending her hand to squeeze his arm to calm him. "Take a moment to calm yourself. Miss Berry has had no change in her condition but, now that you're here we can make some important decisions regarding her care. The emergency card that was found on her at the scene of the accident listed you as her fiancee, correct?"

Finn hesitated. Is that what he was? There had been no further discussion on the matter of their relationship after she got on the 4:25 for New York six months ago. Actually, other than a couple of Happy Birthdays, a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukkah, there hadn't been any discussion at all. He was standing by the promise he had made to himself to stay out of her way. But, if he let his heart answer the question?

"Yes, Ma'am. We're gonna get married," he said, fighting the thickness in his throat, unable to hold back the small sob that escaped his chest.

She offered him a sympathetic smile. "I need to brief you on her condition. Since we talked last, she has been updated from critical to serious. Which is an improvement. Scans show some internal bleeding and we have a surgeon on stand by if further tests reveal the need for an operation. We can't say anything definitive at the moment, but you have every reason to hope."

Lost in a spinning sea of words he didn't have meanings for he spoke the words that his heart was screaming: "I need to see her. Please. Just take me to Rachel. Please."

Finn followed Nurse Stone down a long hallway full of rooms with glass walls. When they got to the end, he spotted Rachel lying in a bed that made her look like a miniature figure. Her face was lit by a single fluorescent light that was mounted above her. From the hall, he could see the large scrape that was red with anger on her cheek peeking out from behind a bandage and she had tubes and monitors coming out from all over. His hand flew to his mouth as he stared at her in a mix of denial and overwhelming grief. She wasn't going to die right?

"We are doing everything we can to prevent that from happening, Mr. Hudson," the kind nurse answered the question he thought he asked inside his head.

"Finn," he corrected quickly.

"Finn," she said softly. She repeated her earlier action of placing her hand on his arm for comfort. "Go on in. She needs you."

He nodded while clenching his jaw and was left standing in the hall alone. Taking a deep breath, he took one large step into the room. The sounds of machines beeping at random and other unidentifiable whirs were the only sounds he could hear. Swallowing so hard it hurt, he stepped closer to the bed and pulled over a small metal stool to sit on. He studied her face intently and ran the back of his hand over the bandage and winced when he thought about how much it must hurt. Then his imagination hit him with the image of her lying still in the street in pain. He shut his eyes tightly to make the image disappear and opened them again to focus on her surprisingly peaceful looking face.

"Rach," he whispered while taking her hand and pulling it to his mouth for a kiss. He immediately noticed her bare ring finger with a distinct tan line where his ring used to reside. He had hoped she still wore it and he couldn't help the feeling of sadness that engulfed him. But he couldn't focus on that right now.

"Rach- I'm here, Babe. I'm right here. I need you to open your eyes and look at me. Can you do that? Can you open your eyes? See, they are saying all of this stuff to me about what's going on with you and I don't understand any of it. But, you're hurt. Bad. And they say I might have to make some pretty serious decisions for you and I don't make decisions all that good without your input, so..." He realized he was rambling because he was scared out of his mind. "Rachel, when they called me and told me you had been hit by a car..." He had to stop talking because those words were just too much to take. Deep breaths were his saving grace. "Just wake up. Please? For me?" He stared at her eyelids just trying to will them to open. They didn't and he finally allowed himself to break. He clasped his hands together on top of the bed at her side and rested his forehead on top of them. He could feel the moisture pooling under his face as he cried. And then, soft as a feather, he felt his hair move. The fingers of a small weak hand rested on top of his head. His head shot up to look into the heavy brown eyes of his reason for living, causing that hand to fall gently away.

"Hi," he whispered through his tears and moved to kiss her forehead. "There you are," he said with a smile. She returned it with a very weak smile of her own before he thought he caught a hint of a nod and her eyes closed again. Thinking quickly, he pushed the call button repeatedly. When the call was answered, he told them what had happened and several nurses rushed into the room, pushing him back so they could get to her. They were chattering about things he couldn't put together and one of them left to call the doctor in. And just as quickly as they had come, they left. On the way out, Nurse Stone stopped to smile up at him. "I told you she needed you. There must be some strong connection between the two of you."

"We're tethered," he said, unable to take his eyes off of her. He received an understanding nod and a smile.

"This is a very good sign, Finn."

"Thanks," he said and moved back to Rachel's bedside.

"Did you hear that, Babe? You're getting better." He stroked her head and kissed her cheek. "You're getting better."

Three hours later, Finn was awoken by a short bald man in a white coat. Coming around, he glanced to the bed, and finding it empty, began to panic. He was stopped by the firm hand of the man standing next to him.

"Calm down, Mr. Hudson, she was taken for tests. She will be back soon. I'm Dr. Feldman," the man said, and offered his hand to shake.

Finn was still uneasy, but shook the man's hand. The doctor looked at Finn over the top of his found glasses and sat on the foot of the hospital bed. He gestured for Finn to return to his seat and Finn obliged.

"I have some very promising news. Ms. Berry's injuries aren't as grave as we at first thought they were. There was internal bleeding, but recent tests show that it isn't worsening, meaning it has stopped on its own. Her vital signs have improved tremendously over the last few hours. She is still unconscious, but not unresponsive"

Finn's face lit up for the first time since receiving the call that made him feel like his whole world was caving in. "That's awesome. Thank you so much."

"Now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. She has a hard road ahead. And her leg is broken in two places. Once she wakes up for longer periods, we will know more about how she is feeling, but she's most assuredly going to need someone to help her while she recovers. Now, I'm told you are her fiancee. Do you share a residence?"

"Um. No, we don't even live in the same state right now," Finn replied sheepishly, still trying to process the information he was being given.

"Well, being so young, I assume her parents will be caring for her, then."

"They... they're out of the country and won't be back for a couple of weeks. I... I will be taking care of her. It's kind of what I do." He smirked and shrugged.

"It's going to be quite a job, Son. Are you sure you are ready to take that on?"

A small humorless chuckle escaped his lips. "In sickness and health, right?" he mumbled, completely unsure of himself, but confident in his love for Rachel.

Dr. Feldman gave Finn a strong clap on the shoulder and an understanding nod. "I'll be back soon with more information," he said before exiting the room.

A few seconds later, a commotion at the door caught Finn's attention as the orderlies wheeled the stretcher carrying Rachel into the room. They transferred her tiny body back into her bed and tucked her in. She winced a little, which told Finn she was hurting, which made him want to bang his head against a wall all over again. The room cleared again, as he had become accustomed to it doing, and he stood at the foot of her bed. And that's when her eyes fluttered open wider than he had seen them yet. His movements were swift as he made his way around to sit next to her.

"Hey," he breathed.

She mouthed an identical response and her hand went to her throat because it was sore and was alarmed that her voice was missing. Her eyes widened a little.

"It's normal, Rach. It'll come back. You've just been through a lot today. Are you hurting?"

She struggled to nod.

"They gave you some pretty good juice before they left, so you should start feeling all tingly in a minute." He spoke so softly and so gently that it put her at ease. "You scared the hell out of me, you know that?"

Her head lolled around a little as her face apologized for her. "Sorry," she mouthed. And then her face turned questioning as she assessed him intently and reached her hand up slowly and ran her fingers through his hair. Finn shifted uncomfortably as she analyzed him silently before the medicine kicked in, causing her hand to fall and her body to drift back into sleep.

Even half conscious she was extremely observant, and though he felt relief washing over him that she was coming back to him, the fear of what she would do when she found out his little secret was enough to cripple him.

**OK, Peeps! Let me know what you think. Interested? Do I keep going? I'm like Tinkerbell... I need reviews to live. ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well... looks like it's a winner! Thank you so much for the reviews! They are a few of my favorite things! I am blown away by the love! Finn's hiding something and you are about to find out what it is! Enjoy!**

"Finn?"

Rachel's still hoarse, but stronger voice jarred his focus on the Blue Jackets game he was watching while waiting for her to wake up again. He moved to her side as quickly as as it took him to get his long legs down from where they rested on the bed next to her. She had been in and out all day and he lived for the moments that her eyes would open and she would smile at him a little, mumble something incoherent and go back to sleep.

"I'm here, Babe. You need something? I got ice..." he said urgently and turned to grab the cup next to the bed and he heard the sweetest sound he could imagine. She giggled. It was quiet. It was weak. But, it was a giggle. His face broke into a smile that could light the world. "Are you mocking me, Ms. Berry?" he asked playfully, lovingly.

She slowly shook her head, fighting to keep her eyes open. "You're cute," she whispered. She received a soft kiss on her lips for that one. "Yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "What happened, Finn?" This was the first he had seen her make much sense.

"Well, according to what they've told me, you were riding your bike and some asshole came out of nowhere, ran you down, and kept going," she saw his jaw clench and tried to soothe him by laying her hand on top of his to remind him she was alright. "They called me cause I was your emergency contact after your Dads. I got on the first flight I could find. Rachel, I have never been so scared in my entire life. And that includes when I thought the Blair Witch Project was a real documentary. It was like my life was on the line," he thought for a second, "it was."

"I've missed you," she said, her voice raspy.

"God, I've missed you,too. This was not how I pictured us being together again," he said with a sad grin.

"How then?" she asked.

"Well," he considered it for a moment and flashed his dimple. "After you got planted here in the city and started making a name for yourself, and I figured out what I needed to figure out, you would have come home from a rehearsal or a show or something and I would be waiting in your little shoebox apartment in a room full of candles and flowers and music and I would say, "Honey, I'm home." You would smile that smile that stops my heart and cry a little and walk into my waiting arms. We would talk until the sun came up or we fell asleep, and I would wake up holding you and know that everything was as it should be. And I would never leave and we would be together forever and ever. And some day, we would finally have a wedding that actually happened and we would have babies and a happily ever after."

Finn was alarmed to see the tears cascading down her cheeks and promptly wiped them away. "Don't cry, Rach. It might not have happened that way, but it happened. You just need to concentrate on healing. They say you're gonna need a lot of help while you recover and since your Dads are gone, looks like you're stuck with me. Hope that's OK."

"More than OK," she whispered. "Thank you. For being here."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," he kissed her hand and held it to his chest.

"Was it hard for you to get permission?" she managed to scratch out.

"Uhhh, well, actually-"

"Miss Berry, you are looking much better," came the greeting from the door. It was Dr. Feldman making his rounds. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been hit by a car," she joked, getting a chuckle from both men. Leave it to Rachel to be able to sit here having comedy hour at a time like this.

"How much pain are you in on a scale from 1-10?"

"27."

The doctor looked to Finn with concern.

"She's kind of dramatic. But she's in a lot of pain. She was crying out in her sleep."

"I'll get your pain meds increased. Any vision problems?"

"No," she said.

"Well, Miss Berry, your vitals are much stronger and, though you're in pain, which is to be expected, I have every reason to believe you will make a full recovery."

Finn beamed at her, and with those words, let himself cully relax for the first time. "Thank you, Dr. Feldman."

The kind man nodded and continued, "Now, I want you to know you have quite a recovery period ahead of you. Your leg will have to remain in that cast for at least 6 weeks. And with your broken ribs, you must take it easy. Mr. Hudson, here, says he will be taking care of you?"

Rachel smiled over at Finn and nodded, love shining in her tired eyes.

"If your vital signs continue to improve and stabilize, and the next round of tests come back clear, we could be sending you home in the next couple of days. Get some rest and I'll be back to check on you before I leave for the day."

Finn watched the white coat walk out the door and turned back to Rachel.

"I get to go home," she said. "With you." She smiled up at him so sweetly it broke his heart.

"Yeah... you do. And then I am not letting you out of my sight ever again." He stared at her for awhile and knew that he had to tell her the truth. There was no way any of this was going to work if she didn't know.

"Rach, I have something to tell-" he was interrupted again by the door flinging open.

"I've seen you do many things for attention, Rachel Berry, but this is over the top. Even for you," Kurt Hummel said as he made his grand entrance.

"Kurt!" Rachel would have squealed if she had the ability.

"Settle down, Barbra, don't want you to pop a stitch. Think of the scarring," he shuddered. "Hey, brother of mine!" he said, turning to Finn and hugging him tight.

"Hey, Kurt," Finn returned the love.

"Who told you?" came a somewhat stronger voice from the bed.

"Finn. He called once he got his wits about him I think." He offered his brother a sympathetic smile. "So, how bad is it?"

"The doctor just came in and said she's much better and if she keeps getting better she might be out of here in a couple of days." He took Rachel's hand and smiled at her warmly.

Kurt watched as the two of them entered the little bubble they sometimes retreated to when they made eye contact. He smiled to see them back where they belong and he was sorry it took something like this to do it, but he was happy to see them smiling. He hated to interrupt, and was unsure if he even could with the way they were ogling each other, but he had to.

"So, what happens then? When you go home?"

"Finn's gonna nurse me back to health," she smiled proudly.

Kurt shot a confused glance toward his brother. "Are you going to be able to do that? Don't you need, like, permission or something?"

"I have everything worked out," Finn answered.

Kurt accepted his answer with a shrug. "Well, I can help when I'm not running ridiculous errands for the Tzarina of Torture. Being her assistant is like being water boarded all day. Except more cruel and unusual. I'm glad you could be here for her. I'm just sorry you two had to come back together like this. I mean, you are back together right? I didn't just make this the most extremely awkward situation ever did I?"

"No, Kurt," Finn said, "It's safe to say I'm never gonna let her leave me again."

"Well, you didn't _let_ her leave, you _made_ her leave, but whatever." Finn glared at him and looked back at Rachel apologetically as she looked at him with a look that told him he had nothing to apologize for, yet still revealed her scars.

"Well, after this she'll be lucky if I do anything but carry her from here on out," he said.

"OK... then. If you are going to be staying with us, I guess I should go get food. God knows, you can't go without being fed, Finn," he laughed at himself.

"I love you, Kurt," Rachel said more loudly than she had been able to manage since she woke up.

"I love you, too, Rachel Berry." Kurt kissed her forehead and nuzzled her nose. "Thank God you didn't hurt this perfect nose." They shared a soul mate smile.

"I'll be back. Finn, do you need anything?" he asked before leaving.

"Nope, all I need is right there in that bed."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Is this the kind of schmaltz I am going to be forced to live with? I will be comatose by the week's end." And he left as dramatically as he entered.

Finn and Rachel laughed at their other half. Rachel winced against the pain and held her side.

"Sorry, Babe." Finn sympathized. "Anything I can do?"

"Come here," she said meekly.

Finn walked over at her command and she took his hand, pulling him to lie down beside her.

"Rach- I can't get up there. I don't wanna hurt you more-"

"Then you're going to have to be extra careful. Please, Finn? I haven't felt you next to me in months. I need you to hold me."

He couldn't say no to that. He gingerly climbed in next to her and she cradled herself into his arms.

They lay there in the silence for a long while before he heard, "I missed you, Finn. Thank you for rescuing me. You're my hero and I love you."

His lips pressed hard against her temple as he was overcome with emotion. "I love you, too, Rachel."

It didn't take her long to fall asleep. Finn just lay next to her, feeling the warmth of her tiny body against his. His long fingers made their way through her ponytail over and over again. He just hoped she felt the same way when he told her the truth.

Two days passed slowly, especially for Finn who was cramming all of his 6 feet 3 inches into a chair that was obviously made for toddlers to sleep at night. But, it was worth it to be there, watching Rachel breathe, laughing and catching up. He knew that the hard conversations would still need to be had, but this wasn't the time or the place. Intermittently throughout their conversations, he would catch a cloud of something pass over her face. Her smile would fade a little and he'd see her eyes travel to another place. The train station, maybe? He could almost feel her hurt that was sitting just under the surface, the disappointment, the questions. He hated that he was responsible for putting them there, but if he had it to do over again, he probably would. Send her to New York, that is. In hindsight, maybe he would choose a different way to go about it, though.

He moved around the room, cleaning up take out containers and packing a bag with her things while she issued instructions. Kurt had brought her favorite pajamas and some toiletries, informing her that a broken leg and a few internal injuries were by no means an excuse for ugly sleep wear and bad hygiene. There were also flowers from Blaine and a cactus from Brittany. Dr. Feldman came in and gave Rachel one more check up before signing her discharge papers. Physical therapy would be scheduled and the nurse gave them a run down of how to handle her care at home. Finn followed the nurse as she pushed Rachel through the winding halls in a wheelchair. He was loaded with a large bag and was working to balance the flowers and the cactus, which had poked him at least six times. He had called ahead for a cab, and after putting his load in the trunk, helped Rachel slide into the back seat. He was going to sit in the front to give her room to stretch out, but she grabbed his hand to keep him with her and he contorted himself into the back seat, holding her legs, one bruised, one broken, across his own. He held her hands on top of her lap and Rachel played NYC tour guide all the way to her apartment. She showed him some of her new favorite haunts: restaurants, coffee shops, kitschy little shops. They passed NYADA and he felt tension enter the space between them, both thinking of that building as the mountain standing between them. The tension was brushed aside, however, and Rachel continued pointing things out to Finn until they reached her building.

"This is me," she said softly.

Finn looked out his window and felt a little nausea when he thought about the fact that she had a whole new home that he had never seen. Then, a thought occurred to him for the first time and he panicked.

"Rachel, please tell me your building has an elevator. Cause I don't know how I'll get you up stairs. I mean, I will carry you if I have to , you weigh like two pounds, but what if something happens and I-"

"Relax, Finn. Breathe. There's an elevator." She giggled and shook her head at his worry.

"Good," he said, heaving a sigh of relief. He looked over at her, almost hesitant to move. It was so safe in this cozy little cocoon that smelled of beef jerky and what could only be described as grit. Silence screamed at them as they just sat there staring at each other.

"Hey! You guys gonna get out any time soon? Meter's running, ya know?" The cab driver was able to spur them into action. Finn paid the man and gently helped Rachel slide across the seat and onto her feet. The cabbie speedily helped Finn with the loot and was gone in a blink.

"People are so friendly here, Rach," Finn teased, staring after the yellow blur as it sped away.

"You get used to it," she said, smiling up at him and tucking her hand into the crook of his elbow.

With a nod, he slung the bag over his shoulder and carried the plants just inside the front doors to Rachel's apartment building. He returned quickly to retrieve her, picking her up gently to carry her in. Their faces were close enough to touch and he heard Rachel's breath hitch, for a moment worried that he had hurt her. Then he saw her teeth come out to take her bottom lip between them. He gulped and froze. He wanted to kiss her. He had wanted to pour everything he had into kissing her for months. Then, when he thought he might lose her, he wanted to kiss the pain out of her. And, when she woke up and he was told she would be OK, he wanted to kiss her and never stop. But, the circumstances hadn't been right. A peck here, a nuzzle there was all that had seemed appropriate for the situation. But, here he stood in front of her place in New York City, not knowing if he really ever would be, holding her to him and feeling her arms snaked around his neck. And she was looking at him with her "you can kiss me if you want to" eyes. And, he wanted to. God, did he ever want to. His chest began to rise and fall a little quicker and he leaned in, his eyes moving from her eyes to her lips and back again. Then, guilt took over and he placed a long, sweet kiss on her cheek. He was waiting for the angry "on the cheek?" that he had received from her a lifetime ago, but instead, she smiled, understanding somehow.

He finally managed to get Rachel, Rachel's bag, her flowers, and her cactus into the apartment without incident. He carried her right to her oversized stark white couch and went back to close the door. She watched him when he turned around as he surveyed the room. For six months she had tried to picture what he would look like in this place, what he would think of it. She sat silently as he walked slowly around the small rooms. The industrial look of a brick wall in the living room, the meticulous attention to detail, no doubt Kurt's influence. With his hand in his pockets, he studied the pictures placed around the room in frames and saw that he was in almost all of them. He turned back to her where his small smile was met with her own.

"What do you think?" she asked.

"I like it, Rach. Believe it or not, it's how I kind of pictured it," he admitted.

"You pictured it?" she said, surprised.

"Well, yeah. Like when missing you got really bad and stuff, I would try to picture what you were doing and where you were doing it. It kind of helped."

She smiled shyly at his sweet admission. "I pictured you, too. Sitting in the bottom bed of your metal bunk, fatigues and boots, push ups and mess halls. Writing me letters and joking around with your platoon. But, with shorter hair. Did it grow out or something?"

And that's when he knew he couldn't go any longer without telling her. He took a deep breath. Then another, before striding to her on the couch. He sat next to her and reached forward to move her hair behind her ear. Her big, brown, trusting eyes staring at him, waiting for a simple answer to an innocent question. He took her hand one of his and traced patterns on top of it with the other.

"Rachel, I need to tell you something. You know that I did what I did for your own good now right? That I couldn't be happy in a world where you put off being the star you already were?"

She nodded, her brow crinkling at his tone.

"Well, I knew that there was no way you would let go unless you thought there was no way you could possibly hang on. And-" he paused to swallow thickly, looking up from the circle pattern he was drawing with his index finger. "OK... just remember that I love you more than anyone or anything in the whole world and that everything I do is for you. Everything I am is because of you. OK?"

"OK, but, Finn, you are scaring me," she said shakily, not knowing where this was going at all, but sensing that it wasn't someplace she wanted to go.

One more deep breath. "Here goes. I haven't been in Georgia. I never joined the Army."

**And there is Finn's big secret, which some of you guessed. Wonder what Rachel will have to say about this. And how will they coexist while she recovers? OH MY! Please review... it helps me keep up my strength!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I am so sorry to leave you hanging like that! Well... I maybe, kinda left you hanging on purpose, but I didn't mean to take this long to update! I don't know why my real life insists on continuing to intrude upon my playtime with my imaginary friends, but it just won't stop it! :) So... I'll shut up now...**

Silence.

Finn's confession was met with a silence so loud he wanted to disappear into it. This was hardly a quiet person he was dealing with, so when she did go completely mute it was for one reason and one reason only. An irate Rachel Berry was, oddly, a quiet Rachel Berry. His shoulders tensed visibly as he watched her face for a clue as to what might be coming next. Her face was a kaleidoscope of expressions. Flashes of something different with every blink of her dark brown eyes. He wanted to speak but thought better of it, deciding instead to wait until she finally landed on one. And when she did, he was surprised to find it was one he hadn't seen before. Her eyes met his and it was one of those rare occasions in which he wasn't sure what she was about to say. Her voice was low, eerily calm.

"Get out."

"What?"

"I said. Get. Out."

"Rachel-"

"I mean it, Finn."

"Look I know that this-"

"No. You don't know. You don't know anything. You don't know how I cried myself to sleep every single night for the first three months after you put me on that damn train. You don't know how excruciatingly hard it was for me to pull myself out of bed in the morning much less integrate myself into life at school; to put my heart into any of it because my heart was completely shattered. You don't know how I lived in a state of constant sickening fear that you could be deployed somewhere and I wouldn't know because no one seemed to know where the hell you were. You don't know the nightmares that haunted my sleep of you bleeding, calling out for me, and I couldn't get to you." her voice broke, finally, and the tears that had filled her eyes to the brim fell down her cheeks. "So don't say you know. I understand why you made me come here. I have even come to be eternally grateful for it. I view it as the ultimate act of love. But, lying to me to do it? We promised after we got back together that we would never lie to each other." she steadied her gaze, "You broke yet another promise, Finn, and I really just need you to leave."

She couldn't really mean this. "Rach- if you'll just let me ex-"

"I said get out!" she raised her voice and clamped her eyes shut.

He had known she'd be mad, but she had never yelled at him like that. "I get that you're really pissed, but I can't exactly leave. Somebody has to take care of you so we are just going to have to hash this out."

"I'll call Kurt," she said shortly, wiping tears from her eyes, being extra careful not to disturb her bandage. "And I have friends here that can help me, too. I don't want any help from you. Just go back to wherever it is that you've been hiding for the past six months and leave me alone." Finn could hear her bravado waning with the tremble in her voice.

He moved closer to her and reached to take her hand. She moved it away. "Just go."

Finn knew a losing battle when he was in one. He looked to the ceiling and clenched his jaw. Then, decided he had no choice but to give her what she wanted. At least for now. He nodded sadly and stood. He gathered her cell phone, remote, laptop, tissues, and the cup of water he knew she'd need to calm her and brought them all over to her. She watched him set everything up around her but wouldn't make eye contact with him. He stood over her, silently begging her to look at him. Wanting to hold her and stop her tears. Tears he had put there. He finally turned and walked to the door but before walking through it, he turned to look at her.

"Rachel, I did what I did because I thought it was best for you. At some point, you have got to see me for exactly what I am. I'm just a Lima Loser. And you? You're larger than life. I shouldn't have lied to you. OK? And I'm sorry I caused you to worry when you didn't have to. But, when they called me from the hospital? I have never felt like that before in my life and I hope I never feel that way again. I could feel my life literally leaving my body just thinking about you not being in the world. And, just so you know? The ticket I bought to come here was one way, so, I'm gonna go right now cause you asked me to. But, I will be back whether you like it or not because I don't have any intention of leaving you ever again."

His speech was met by tears falling from eyes of fury, resolved to her stubbornness. He disappeared through the doorframe and closed the door quietly behind him.

Rachel hung her head and sobbed heavily.

Finn stood in the empty hallway staring at the wrong side of Rachel's door. He held his phone to his ear and took the time while it rang to dread this conversation immensely. "Kurt? Look, I've kind of made a douche bag move and I need you to take care of Rachel until she's speaking to me again."

"What did you do this time?" His brother's voice held very little sympathy and a whole lot of accusation.

Finn hesitated. Because it hit him that Rachel wasn't the only one he had lied to. Kurt wasn't any more privy to his whereabouts these last six months than she was. This was not going to go well.

"Kurt. Look, you are going to be as pissed at me as Rachel was but I need you to put that aside and just take care of her OK? You can bitch slap me later. Here's the thing," he took another cleansing breath and just blurted out his transgression for the second time that day. "I never joined the Army. I didn't go to Georgia."

There were several beats before he got a response. "What do you mean you didn't go to Georgia and you didn't join the Army, Finn? If that's true then where the hell have you been for the last six months?"

"That's a conversation I need to have with Rachel first. If she ever starts speaking to me again. And does it really matter? I came immediately when she needed me."

"She's needed you for half a year, Finn. She's needed you since you drove her to her wedding that wasn't. I cannot believe you lied to all of us. What were you thinking? This hurts, Finn. It really hurts."

"I know. Believe me, I know. And I'm sorry. But, what is important now is that I am standing outside the apartment of a girl who can't walk without help and who has just thrown me out. So, how quick can you get here?"

An exaggerated sigh blew through the receiver. "I'll be there in 10 minutes. But, seriously, Finn, you may have really lost her this time if she is half as mad as I am right now."

"And I am going to sit outside this door until you get here and pray that isn't true," Finn said, rubbing a hand down his face and around the back of his neck.

"Yeah? Well, good luck with that."

And that was the end of that. Finn let his body slide down the door and he rested his forehead against his bent knees. For months he had been dreading this moment and it was about as bad as he had pictured it. He had been holding out hope that she would see the good in it and overlook the bad, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. He let his head fall back against the door and allowed the thought that this might have been her deal breaker entered his mind. Maybe this would be the one thing she couldn't forgive. And that's when the tears came. He cried for several minutes and it wasn't very long until he heard the light, rhythmic footsteps of the man he called brother.

"Hello, Private Hudson," Kurt said, pouring on the sarcasm with a generous helping of salt in the wound.

"Not now, Kurt," Finn warned, rising to his feet.

"Fine. But we will discuss this. You have no idea what she went through and I had to watch. She was broken, Finn, and it took months for her to feel anything close to normal again. She had nightmares where she would wake up screaming for you. She researched war and combat, trying to prepare herself for what she thought might happen to you. Not to mention how afraid for you I was myself. But, you are right. Rachel is more important right now and I have to go in there and not only take care of her healing body but her re-broken heart." Kurt whirled around to enter his apartment and was stopped by a big strong hand.

"I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. But, I'm not leaving this hallway until she lets me back in. Kurt, I love her. More than my own life, I love her. I need her to understand that. I need you to help me make her understand that." He was pleading so desperately it broke through Iceberg Hummel just a little.

"I know. And I'll try. But I make no promises," he said soberly and went inside.

Finn sat back down across the hall and prepared to camp out there if he had to. He felt like he had been put in a time out where he was supposed to sit there and think about what he had done and how he was going to make it up to those he loved. He stared at the closed door in front of him. Why the hell did he have to be such an idiot?

Inside, Kurt smiled sympathetically at the broken sobbing girl on the couch. Other than the cast on her leg and the bruises, well, everywhere, this was a sight he had become very familiar with in the first few months he shared their apartment with her. Red eyes, puffy face, swollen lips. She was a hot damn mess. He looked at her with sympathetic eyes and a kind smile and when she looked up and saw him there, she just cried harder. Kurt dropped his bag and walked over to her, motioning with a swipe of his hand for her to sit up so he could fit himself in behind her. He snuggled her back against him and held her while she cried, shushing her softly and stroking her hair. He said nothing to his friend, just let her feel whatever she needed to feel.

"He called you, didn't he?" she said through her hiccuping sobs.

"Yes. He didn't want to leave you here all helpless and alone."

"Well, that's a first," she spat. There was a beat of silence. "Did he tell you?"

"Yes. He did. And I am mad as hell at him, too, Rachel, but there's no doubt he loves you. That hasn't changed."

"He once told me that if I loved him, I wouldn't have lied to him. So, excuse me if I'm having a hard time believing that right now."

"Trust me, when he told me he wasn't where he said he was I wanted to give his drumsticks a new resting place, but, this is Finn. He acts first and thinks later. How someone can be so smart and so blatantly ignorant at the same time is beyond me. But, his heart was in the right place. It was right here with you."

He heard her scoff. "I can't look at him right now, Kurt. Where did he go anyway? Doesn't matter. I'm sure he isn't where he told you he'd be."

Kurt couldn't blame her for her spiteful responses. And though he knew it was for the best for him to forge a path to forgiveness for these two, he kind of wanted to join in with her. But, even though his brother had pulled the most idiotic of moves, he knew that if there was one thing Finn Hudson cared about in the world it was Rachel Berry.

"He told me he isn't leaving the hall until you let him back in. He was just sitting out there crying like a little girl when I came in."

"Good," she said with a flippant shrug. "Hope he's comfortable cause he's not coming back in here any time soon." Her arms crossed and one hand wiped away the tears with the fresh tissue Kurt had just handed her. She was quiet just for a moment. "How could he do that, Kurt? When I woke up in that hospital, even when I was just in and out and in so much pain, all I kept thinking was 'He's here. My Finn is here.' And I could hear his voice and I could feel his hand around mine. And it was like it was somehow worth going through the pain since it brought him back to me. But now? He could have been here the whole damn time and he chose not to be. I mean, you know better than anyone how scared I've been for him. For all we knew, he had been deployed already." Another thought hit her exhausted mind. "Do you think Burt and Carole knew? I mean, where was he?"

"He wouldn't tell me. He said he wanted to have that conversation with you first. And I don't know about Dad and Carole. I really don't think they knew because Carole sucks at keeping secrets from me. But, they've been in D.C. since June and I've only seen them twice since I moved. You know Bosszilla barely lets me out of my cage long enough to pee." This earned a giggle at least. "Rachel, I'm afraid if you want answers, you're gonna have to talk to Finn."

"I can't do that, Kurt. I hated that he was joining the Army because his head was all over the place at the time, but I supported his decision. I surrendered just like he asked me to even though everything in me was screaming to hold on to him for dear life. I came here and I have actually carved out a life for myself. But, every single day for all these months, I have wanted him here. With me. But, he was doing what he needed to do to honor Mr. Hudson and the part of me that knows how much that effects him wanted that closure for him. And, now I find out that he's been just sitting around God knows where, able to be here but not coming? If he had wanted to be with me, he would have been. But he didn't."

Kurt listened to the thickness of her voice and felt her body tense as she cried harder than before. She reached around herself, holding the ribs that he knew must be severely hurting. "Rachel, let's get you some pain medicine and get you to bed. You should rest and concentrate on healing right now and we will deal with my jackass of a brother later." She nodded in agreement and he stood to help her off the couch. He helped her back to her room and into her bed before leaving for only long enough to get her medicine. Once she had swallowed her pill, Kurt sat next to her and she snuggled down into her pillow falling asleep almost on contact. He snuck away and closed her door softly. When he opened the front door of the apartment, he was met by the sight of Finn who had fallen asleep against the opposite wall. And, even though he could strangle him right now with no remorse, it still tugged at his heart to see him like this. He stepped over and shook his brother gently on the shoulder. Finn's eyes opened in alarm. He accepted Kurt's offer to help him up.

"Is she letting me back in?" he asked urgently.

"Uh... negative. But she's sleeping soundly under the influence and though she will probably destroy my wardrobe for it, I can't let you stay out there. You need a nap, too. I know you haven't slept much since you got here. You can have the couch."

Finn followed Kurt inside. "Kurt, do you think she's gonna forgive me?"

Kurt studied Finn's face for a moment. " I don't know. She is really hurt and I don't blame her. She thinks you didn't come with her because you didn't want to be here with her."

"But, that's crazy. I have wanted to be with her every second we've been apart."

"I'm just telling you where her head is at. And, frankly, I wonder where yours has been. But, right now, I have some calls to return for the evil succubus that is my boss."

And Finn was left alone. He fell back onto the couch and laid with his arm over his face. This was not where he thought he would be sleeping. He wanted to have Rachel in his arms right now. To feel her breathing. To know she was real. She was going to forgive him, right? She had to. But what if she didn't?


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi y'all! I am so very sorry for the long time between updates! Thank you so much for reviewing and favoriting and following! Those notifications are like sunshine! :) I just want to make sure you know that I think what Finn did was heroic... I am just playing out a "what if" here. Cause IF he had made her think he was somewhere he wasn't, she would have every reason to be angry! I love Finn Hudson! Just throwing that out there... on with the story! PS. I don't own Finn, but if I did, I would treat him very well. Don't own Rachel, Kurt, or any other character in here you've already heard of that pops up, either!**

"Kurt!"

Finn stopped in the middle of launching an Angry Bird when he heard Rachel call from her bedroom. He had been awake for about an our but hadn't yet moved from the couch. The last week's emotional storm had finally caught up with him, gaining momentum with yesterday's events, and his body, mind, and soul were begging for a recharge.

"Kurt, I need you!"

She called again and he found himself facing quite a dilemma. First of all, Kurt had left just after Finn had woken up to tend to his boss, whom Finn pictured as that chick from that Disney movie about all the Dalmatians, especially after Kurt referred to her as Cruella. Secondly, he wasn't even sure if Rachel knew he was back in the apartment and even if she did, he didn't know how how happy she was about it. But, she obviously needed something and, like it or not, he was her only option. Taking a deep breath and fighting back the urge to throw up, he manned up and shuffled back to see what what it was.

Standing just inside the doorway, he was met with expectant eyes that quickly narrowed when she saw who had come to her rescue. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "You need something?" he said nonchalantly.

"Where's Kurt?" came her terse reply.

_Yep. Still mad. _

He ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Uh, yeah. He got a call from his boss real early and had to go in for a bit. He didn't think you'd be awake until later."

He searched her face for a reaction. There wasn't one. He took another step into the room before offering softly, "But, I'm here. Can I help?"

Looking at her, so small in the King sized bed made him wonder why she bought it. She obviously didn't need all that room. Then, his stomach lurched. _Dumbass. She was waiting for you. _ And then, he had to fight the overwhelming need to hold her. Just crawl in there with her and pull her against his chest and hold her and make all of this tension melt away. But, he couldn't. Not yet. Maybe not ever again, and that thought forced him to look away to get himself together. He looked back to see her arms folded over her chest.

"No. I'll just wait for Kurt," she said so stubbornly cute that he almost laughed. But, knowing that would really send her over the edge, he held it back.

"C'mon, Rach. Just let me help you. Want your coffee or something?" he asked.

She shot him a look of irritation before letting out a resigned sigh. "If you must know, I have to pee."

Finn couldn't stop his eyes from widening as he shifted on his feet nervously. "Okaaaay. Then, come here." He walked to the side of the bed to stand next to her.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked him as she looked up at him in alarm.

"Um, I'm gonna carry you to the bathroom so you can pee?"

"No, you're not," she said with an indignant scoff.

"Rachel, you can't exactly walk in there yourself so how else do you suggest this go?"

She turned her head away from him like a six year old being told she couldn't have candy in the checkout line. "I'll wait. For Kurt."

Frustration grew inside him. Stubborn, dramatic Rachel he could handle. In fact, he was like skill level: expert at it, but given their current circumstances it was kind of pissing him off. He said he was sorry and she wouldn't even talk to him to let him explain any of it. There were theatrics and then there was down right childish. And though he wanted nothing more than to take care of her and get her to forgive him, it was irritating, and he wouldn't indulge her in it.

"Ok," he said with a shrug. "I'll be out there on the couch if you change your mind." And he turned to calmly leave the room. Just as he got to the door, he heard her mumble something.

"That's where you SAY you're going to be, but how can I really know for sure?"

That's when the leash on his frustration snapped. He spun around and stalked right back into the room. "You know what? I get it. You feel betrayed and maybe you should, but I'm here now. I didn't hesitate even half a second to get on a plane to get to you when you needed me. I sat watching you for two days just willing you to wake up and look at me, terrified that you never would. And I told you the truth as soon as I was able to. I would love to hash it all out with you but if you wanna be a brat about it, be my guest. Oh, and, good luck with holding it cause nature doesn't really care how pissed you are at me!" And with that, he walked away, stomping down the hall, leaving her sitting there stunned.

She was just. so. mad at him. And she was even more mad that she was sitting here feeling guilty for the way she was treating him. But, wasn't she entitled to it? She knew that seeing her so injured was hard on him and that it scared him really bad.

He flung himself back down on the couch angrily and tapped his foot rapidly on the floor. Unable to do nothing, he picked up the remote and began blindly flipping through the channels on the TV. _God, she can be so damn maddening._ He settled on some 'shoot everyone in sight' flick and had just started to get into what there was of a plot when he thought he heard her call for him.

"Finn?" It was soft, but he definitely heard it. He pursed his lips and considered ignoring her to teach her a lesson. But, his love for her won the battle against his pride and he went to check on her.

"Yes?" He asked, trying his best to remain indifferent.

Rachel made reluctant eye contact and he could tell it was killing her to have to give in. He just stood there internally enjoying that just a little bit.

_He's gonna make me ask, _she thought. _Damn it._

"Will you help me to the bathroom?" she asked.

"Say please," he answered.

The bullets coming from those big black eyes didn't miss their intended target and he hoped his flinch was slight enough to go unnoticed. But, he didn't let up.

"Please," she ground out through her teeth.

"Like you mean it," he prodded.

He received a glare that could signal the end of the world before she softened it slightly and repeated the word less begrudgingly out of sheer need. Her bladder was most definitely taking his side.

Finn nodded and walked over, bent down, and placed his arms around her waist and under her knees and gently picked her up from the bed. Her arms instinctively wrapped around his neck to secure herself. She turned her head to look at him, realizing just how close his face was. He looked straight ahead, not acknowledging her nearness. Instinct told her to lean in and kiss his cheek, but she beat it back, keeping a firm grip on the anger she was carrying toward him as well as her pride. He carried her into her bathroom and placed her feet on the floor. As he rose back to his full height, her hands slipped down to his chest and he stood there so closely, body to body, looking down at her as she stared at her own hands in front of her. She chanced a peek up at him and they both felt the room heat up. A piece of the ice melted. It was overwhelming to meet his eyes sometimes, because no matter what was going on, whether they were fighting or not, his eyes shined with an undeniable love for her. History told her that this was the part where he kissed her and her body was actually crying out for it. His face dipped toward her slowly. Hesitantly. His eyes were locked in on hers the whole time. She could feel how much he wanted her. _But he lied. He didn't want you enough to come with you, _her mind inserted. Rachel cleared her throat and lowered her head.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "I got it from here."

This snapped Finn out of the Rachel trance he was in. "OK. Yeah. I guess, I'll just... I'll just be right outside the door. I'll carry you back to bed when you're ready."

She nodded and watched him slip outside the door, pausing as he closed it to look at her sadly.

He stood leaning in the hallway, arms folded against himself, and let his head fall back to rest on the wall behind him. He had wanted that kiss. He hadn't kissed her, really, really kissed her in over six months. And just then, standing so close to her, her eyes connected to his, her mouth so welcoming? He had never wanted anything more than meet her lips with his own and show her how loved and wanted she really was. And he got the vibe that she wanted that, too. So, what had stopped her? He lifted his head when he heard the flush and then, a good while later, the sound of water running. There was a knock from inside the bathroom and he moved quickly to open the door. She looked up at him and his heart melted. She was so damn beautiful. And the air of sadness she was exuding was making his protective nature present itself. Even if the person that had hurt her was himself. There had to be a way to get past this. She needed to hear him out, but he knew her well enough to know not to push because that would just make her retreat even further from him.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. He bent to pick her up again and she slid her arm around his shoulders. This time, he risked a look at her face and she was the one staring straight ahead. When he reached her bed, he gingerly returned her to her original position.

"Thank you, Finn," she whispered as his face passed hers.

It sent a shiver down his spine. He met her brown eyes and thought for just a moment he saw forgiveness there. His eyes flickered ever so briefly to her lips and back up to her eyes. She made no move to stop what they both knew was about to happen.

"I've got bagels," was sung from the doorway to the bedroom, snapping them out of the moment as they both quickly turned to see Kurt standing there. He seemed oblivious to what he had just interrupted and Finn's look of fury didn't seem to register either. Rachel watched as Finn backed up from the bed and looked away from her. Kurt bounded into it from the other side. "I think I got Miss Congeniality squared away at work, so I am here to nurse you back to health, my Diva. I brought bagels and coffee for all of us. I know it's actually more like lunch time, but what are ya gonna do? So, how about we just all pile in here and have a movie musical marathon!" For the first time, Kurt sensed the tension in the room. His eyes moved back and forth between the two of them.

Finn spoke first. "Thanks, Kurt. I'll just take mine in there so I can finish my movie. I'm sure Rachel would rather just watch with you. She thinks I always ask too many questions." He offered her a shrug and a half smile before disappearing around the corner.

Kurt looked back at Rachel as she stared at the spot in the doorway where his brother had just been standing. "I see you let him help you, at least?" Kurt said.

Rachel shook off the Finn feelings and turned her focus back to Kurt. "Couldn't help it. The bladder wants what it wants. I didn't have much of a choice since you stranded me here with him alone."

"Why don't you just talk to him, Rachel? Let him explain himself. I have gotten over being mad at him for lying because I know that Finn isn't a liar and if he left things out, he had reasons. And he won't tell me those reasons until you talk to him. And I need to know. And let's face it, Rachel, it really is just all about me," he finished with a smirk, earning himself a soft nudge to the arm. "So, let him talk."

She sighed heavily. " I don't want to Kurt. It doesn't matter, anyway. The fact is, he let me think he was joining the Army to keep me away from him. I'm not just going to get over that."

"But-" Kurt started.

"No. Buts. Just let me handle this in my own way, OK?"

"By not handling it at all?" Kurt said.

"No," she said, irritated. " By giving me time to figure out a way to not be so mad at him for it. And I'm the only one who can do that. IF I can do that. Look, I always thought Finn was someone who would never lie to me. Someone I could trust with no reservations. And now? That trust is broken. I don't know what to believe about him. Or us. So, I need time to decide if I can trust him again, OK? Now, where are those movies?"

The two friends engaged in a stare off for a few seconds until Kurt resigned himself to the fact that there was no reasoning with her when she got like this. "Hairspray or Evita?" he asked, defeated.

"Do you even have to ask?" she smiled.

"Mrs. Peron it is," he chuckled as he moved to put the DVD into the player.

For the first time in her whole life, Rachel fell asleep during an Andrew Lloyd Webber production. She was still taking medicine for the pain and it was doing a real number on her system. Kurt covered her over with a blanket and crept out of the bed where he had been lying next to her. He stepped into the living room to find Finn still engrossed in what must be some kind of blood bath marathon on Spike. He took a seat next to his large step sibling and watched the movie with him for awhile, not saying a word.

"She's gonna come around, Finn," he assured, never removing his attention from the TV in front of them.

"You think so?" Finn asked, not moving his focus either.

"You just gotta give her time. She's lost trust in the the person she trusted the most. You don't just let that go and move on, Finn."

Finn snapped his head to the side to look at Kurt. "She doesn't trust me?"

Kurt looked over at him. "No, Finn, she doesn't. Let me replay it for you, OK? You asked her to marry you, worked your ass off to get a yes despite protest from all sides, told her you wanted to be an actor and you wanted to live in New York City with her, then after one setback, made her think you were driving her to her happily ever after with you only to tell her you're going all GI Dumbass and shipping her off alone. Then, she finds out you led her to believe a lie and could have been here all along. Do you blame her?"

Finn wanted to say yes, but he knew the truth. "No. I don't. But, I wish she would let me explain why I did all that and what I've been doing all this time. But, she's being so stubborn and childish and Rachel about it that I can't." His frustration poured out of his face. "And knowing she doesn't trust me just sucks, because no one would jump in front of a bus for that girl faster than me. I would never hurt her for the sake of hurting her. Ever." His voice was faltering with emotion. He felt Kurt's arm around him and laid his head over on his shoulder. "I miss her, Kurt. She's in the next room and I miss her."

"I know," Kurt offered sympathetically. "She misses you, too. She might never say it out loud, but she does."

They sat on the couch together, finishing the movie that was currently playing. They talked about Kurt's job and this boss of his. He was working as an assistant to a high end fashion designer that looked upon him as more of an insignificant peon than anything else. But, he knew that if he stayed in the business, there was more chance of him getting his own assistant someday. As if on cue, Kurt's phone alerted him to a text message.

"'Get your little ass in here now, Hummel. I am having a silk emergency and I see no one waiting to hand me coffee. And be prepared to stay as late as I necessitate.' Great!"

"Do you really have to go just to bring her coffee?" Finn asked incredulously.

"No. That's just what she says to downplay the fact that I am a valuable resource to her and she actually needs my input. But, either way, I gotta go." He stood and began gathering his things.

Finn panicked a little. Kurt was leaving and Rachel was going to wake up eventually. "Um? What if she wakes up?" he asked, wide eyed.

"What do you mean, 'what if she wakes up?' If she wakes up, get her whatever she needs," he shrugged as if it were that easy. He registered the worry on Finn's face. "She loves you. She's just mad at you."

"I'm not so sure it's that simple," Finn lamented. "Bye, Kurt. Good Luck." He smiled sweetly at his brother.

"Thanks," Kurt chuckled and raced out the door.

Finn sat in the living room that should be his own and started to really study it. The movie had ended and he turned off the television because the noise was suddenly too much for him to take. He got up and walked to the large built in book case. The first two shelves held all kinds of books on musical theatre, and Streisand, and fashion; an eclectic mix of all things Kurt and Rachel. There were pictures of the two of them together in the city and there were pics that included him and some of Blaine mixed in as well. He smiled when he spied the picture he had taken of him and Rachel lying in her bed back home. They looked so right all snuggled up like that. She had turned it black and white and the contented soft smile on her face warmed his heart. He continued looking around the display of personal touches and when he got to the third shelf that he froze. There were books about acting and drumming and classic rock. Some about football greats and classic cars. A picture of him, just him, drumming at graduation sat there as well. It was a shelf for him. All this time, she had been setting up a home for them that she didn't even know if he would ever live in. Then, he saw an empty frame sitting there next to his drumming photo. It was silver and engraved and empty. The inscription read, Mr. and Mrs. Hudson May 23, 2012. He sat down on the floor where he was standing and took the frame in his hands. He ran his thumb over the words and his heart hurt for her. And for him. It hurt for the future he cut short and the hopes she had that he took away. And he cried. What had he been thinking? Maybe he was a loser, but she never saw him that way.

His thoughts were interrupted by a shrill scream coming from Rachel's bedroom. He jumped up and ran in to find her in the throes of a nightmare. Maybe she was reliving her accident. He rushed to her side and just before he got his hands on her she screamed, "No! Not my Finn!" _Or that. As if I wasn't feeling bad enough,_ he thought.

"Rach," he shook her gently. She continued to cry in her sleep. "Rachel!" he said more loudly.

She jerked awake and looked at him, confused, chest heaving, tears streaming down her face.

"Finn?" she said weakly. She threw her arms around his neck and he leaned in willingly as she cried into his neck.

"Shhhh, Babe. I'm here. I'm fine and I'm right here." He held her for a long while and rocked her a little in silence until he felt her relax into him. Once he knew she was calm, he pulled away a little, knowing she wouldn't want him that close right now. "You OK?" he asked lovingly.

She simply nodded. He nodded, too. They just sat there. Not saying a word until he couldn't take it anymore. "Are you hungry? I can go fix you something to eat," he said as he moved to go to the kitchen. He felt her small hand on his wrist and turned to see her sad eyes staring straight at him.

"Stay with me?" she asked with the need for comfort evident in her voice.

"Of course," he answered. He crawled up next to her and she snuggled herself into his side, laying her head on his chest. He held her against him firmly, not wanting to hurt her, but so grateful for any crack in the ice.

After several minutes of stillness, she said, "I'm still mad at you."

"I know," he said. But, right now, he'd take what he could get.

**Awww. Please review! Your thoughts are very appreciated in my world! ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Let me start by saying how sorry I am for not updating for so long! Had to take the trusty laptop to the Apple hospital. It has made a full recovery... so... here we go!**

Finn stood with his face upturned and his eyes closed tightly as he let the hot water run down his chest; soothing his sore muscles and working to clear up his clouded brain. The last week had been such a roller coaster ride of emotions and he was very thankful for the solitude of the shower and the time it afforded him to think. He thought about how he had just spent the last three hours of it holding her in his arms knowing she was still mad at him but needing him near her all the same. While she slept, she would periodically squeeze him tighter or nuzzle her face into his neck. He had just lain there enjoying her warmth and her closeness. He stroked her hair and ran his fingers up and down her back when she would stir and a lot of the time he spent just looking at her face. Her bruised and battered beautiful face. And the love that swelled up in him was almost too much to contain. _What was I thinking? That I could honestly let her go? I mean sure, I did it for her own good and I don't regret doing anything that got her here. She wasn't going to do it herself. She would have just stayed in Nowhere, Ohio with going nowhere me and eventually hated me for it. Why did I let her think I joined up? Stupid. And now, how do I make her understand when she won't even speak to me? Why does she have to be so damn stubborn? But she's cracking. She's mad at me, but, she-_

A crash from the other room cut into his inner monologue. His eyes flew open and he swiftly shut off the water. He threw back the curtain so hard he nearly ripped from the rod and he clumsily stumbled over the side of the tub to plant his feet on the ground. Grabbing a towel from the rack and hastily wrapping it around his waist, he charged through the door and raced down the small hallway toward the direction of the sound he had heard, skidding to a stop just inside the living area.

"Rach?" he breathed in fear and exasperation. Because there she was, flat on her ass next to a pile of rubble that used to be the lamp on the end table, looking up at him in tears.

"I was just trying to get my script for acting class so I could stay caught up and when I bent to reach for it, a pain shot through my ribs and I reacted to it and because of this stupid thing," she gestured toward her cast, "I lost my balance and fell down," she was crying full tears now.

Finn's face softened from one of sheer terror to one of pure sympathy. He walked to her and bent his body down, securing his towel before wrapping his arms around her waist. "Hold on to my neck, Babe," he said gently. She complied and he lifted her, ever so carefully from the ground. When she was fully on her feet, her tears stopped as she became very well aware of the fact that she was currently pressed up against a very wet and mostly naked Finn Hudson. Her hands were still linked around his neck and she could feel the water droplets falling from the hair at the back of it. She chanced a glance into his eyes and quickly found that that was a mistake. Because, the love and concern and hint of lust she found in them chipped away another piece of the brick wall she had built between them and her pride was hellbent on keeping that wall firmly intact indefinitely. But, her pride would not hold up against those golden brown eyes so full of love for her vey much longer. She lowered her eyes to avoid looking at his face and what they landed on wasn't much better. His strong chest and broad shoulders, still dripping, and she followed the streams of water until they stopped just above the white towel that hung low on his hips. Her face melted into a dazed expression and her tongue made an appearance to wet her drying lips and she looked back up into the eyes that were still laser focused on her.

"Are you OK? Did you re-injure anything?" he asked, oblivious to the thoughts that were running around in her mind. His only concern right now was her well being. His hands moved up her sides in a comforting motion as his head made a scan of her whole body checking for signs of distress. She had yet to move her hands.

"What?" she had to snap out of the haze. "Oh... No, I'm fine. Really. I mean, the impact hurt my middle, but I think I'm fine. I was crying mostly because I was frustrated at being kind of useless." There was a moment of silence between them as his worry subsided and he became aware of their proximity and his lack of clothing. He swallowed hard when he felt her hands unclasp and move down to his shoulders to finally land on his forearms and their eyes were solely focused on each other . "Thank you," she spoke, breaking the building tension, "For, you know, getting in here so quickly. I'm sorry I interrupted your shower." She looked down because it was the only safe place to look.

He cleared his throat and loosened the tight grip he had on her waist. "Yeah. Sure," he shrugged uncomfortably. "Scared the shit out of me though," he chuckled. She couldn't help but laugh with him.

"Sorry about that, too," she smiled warmly. The heat she could feel from his bare chest was getting to be too much to take. "Help me to the couch?." She spoke softly and tried to take a step away from him. She thought she heard him sigh as he took her elbow into his hand with his arm wrapped securely around her waist and helped guide her toward the couch.

He steadied her as she took a seat and then he helped her get her leg propped up on the couch pillows. As he bent over her to prop a pillow behind her back she inhaled deeply both because of his closeness and to capture his scent. It was soap and Finn and it smelled heavenly. As he retreated from her he smiled a half smile that she silently cursed. _He lied to you. Terrified you for months._ _He was off, God knows where, while he could have been here with you. You weren't enough. _She was determined to hold on to her ire, but his skin and his scent and his dimple were all in cahoots to break her down.

"Can I get you anything else?" he asked as he looked at her intently.

"Um," her teeth took her bottom lip in between them, " my script?"

And he laughed out loud, her joining in. "Yes. And next time you need something, what are you going to do?" he asked, leading her toward the answer.

"Ask you," she replied with a roll of her big brown eyes and a sheepish grin.

"Good," he said, and went to get the script that had fallen behind the table with all the commotion. She took in the view when he bent all the way over to pick it up, her mouth falling open slightly, before she tore her eyes away. But not before Finn saw her staring. "Whatcha lookin' at?" he asked with a cocky knowing grin.

"Just an ass in a towel," she quipped, proud of herself for getting the double meaning in on him.

Finn pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes, fighting to keep the smile that was threatening his lips. He tossed the script over to her and she laughed at him. She was still mad, but maybe it was time to give him the chance to explain. He walked down the hall without another word, except calling over his shoulder, "an ass you can't keep your eyes off of."

When he got back to the bathroom to get dressed, he closed the door and leaned on the sink with both arms straight and locked and hung his head with a burst of air through his lips. He raised his head and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was wearing her down and he wasn't even trying. A slow smile crept on to his face and for the first time since "get out," he relaxed a little. Dressed in his t-shirt and jeans with bare feet, he padded back out to find her talking to herself.

"Uh. Rach? Who are you talking to?" He sat across from her in the big comfy chair and started putting his socks on.

"Finn," she shook her head and smiled a small smile, " I'm reading my script, thank you very much."

"Oh yeah? What's it about?" he asked, getting up and risking the well being of his heart by walking over to sit beside her on the opposite end of the couch.

She looked at him questioningly over the top of the book in her hands. "Well... it's Barefoot in the Park." She was met by a crinkled brow. "Neil Simon?" He shook his head. "Finn! Neil Simon is only one of the most well known contemporary playwrights of our time. And Barefoot in the Park is one of his most famous works. The movie starred Robert Redford and Jane Fonda. It's a comedy about newlyweds getting used to their new apartment and each other. It's really good. You should read it some time." She casually went back to her reading.

"OK. How 'bout right now?" he asked.

"How about right now what?"

"How about I read it now? With you?"

"With me?" She gave it some thought given the fact that she was technically still furious with him but could actually use the help since it did involve a partner and she couldn't work with him at the moment. Practicality and curiosity won out. "OK. That would actually be kind of great. Thanks, Finn."

He shrugged trying to look cool and collected but his insides were pretty much rejoicing that she was allowing some interaction. He nervously scooted his body closer to hers to share the script with her and caught himself staring at her so longingly he looked like a puppy in a pet store desperately wanting to be taken home. He shook off the urge to just keep sliding over until he had her in his arms and opted instead, to just help her reposition herself on the couch. She smiled at him warmly and earned herself a one shoulder shrug and a one dimpled grin.

Rachel watched as he shimmied himself down into a slouch down the back on the couch with his feet plopped onto the coffee table in front of them. He was leaning into her closely on one elbow, his head nearly touching her shoulder. She gave him a sidelong glance he couldn't see and took a deep breath. Mad though she was, smelling his clean Finn-ness made her tummy quiver and having him that close made her want to... She got herself together quickly, though, and pointed out where to begin. They started reading their respective lines.

_**Corie **_**(Rachel)**_**:You don't consider this a crisis? Our whole marriage hangs in the balance.**_

_**Paul **_**(Finn)**_**: (sits up on steps) It is? When did that happen?**_

_**Corie: Just now. It is suddenly very clear that you and I have nothing in common.**_

_**Paul: Why? Because I wouldn't walk barefoot with you in the park in winter?You haven't got a case, Corie. Adultery, yes. Cold feet, no.**_

_**Corie: (seething) Don't oversimplify this. I am angry. Can't you see that?**_

Finn straightened a little, the words form the page suddenly synchronizing with reality. He looked at her for a moment before clearing his throat and continuing on.

_P**aul: Corie, it's two fifteen. If I can fall asleep in half an hour I can get about five hours' sleep. I'll call you from court tomorrow and we can fight over the phone. **_

_**Corie: You will not go to sleep. You will stay here and fight to save our marriage.**_

"I thought you said this was a comedy," Finn said, the uncomfortable feeling still holding on to him tightly.

"It is, Finn. Mostly. They fight. It's perfectly common with newly married people. Now keep reading," she said, pointing him to his next lines.

_P**aul: Corie, would you bring a pail? The closet is dripping.**_

_**Corie: Ohh, I hate you! I hate you! I really, really hate you!**_

_**Paul: Corie, there is one thing I learned in court. Be careful when you're tired and angry. You may something you will soon regret. I-am-now-tired-and-angry.**_

_**Corie: And a coward.**_

_**Paul: And I will now say something I will soon regret... Okay, Corie. Maybe you're right. Maybe we have nothing in common. Maybe we rushed into this marriage a little too fast. Maybe love isn't enough. **_

He paused. Maybe just a little too long. And the air between them hung heavy and the tension could be felt in the stillness of that moment. He looked at her face and she looked right back. There was a pained sadness found on both of them as they processed the words written five decades or so ago that struck a nerve with them today. Both of them wanted to say something. But, neither could find the words. Love was enough. Wasn't it? It had to be. Rachel was the first to look away and Finn tried to return his focus to the pages in front of them. He continued.

_**Paul: Maybe two people should have to take more than a blood test. Maybe they should be checked for common sense, understanding and emotional maturity.**_

_**Corie: You're unbearable**_

_**Paul: (Reaches out his hand to her) All right, Corie... let's not get-**_

_**Corie: Don't you touch me... Don't you touch me... I don't want you near me. Ever again.**_

Rachel was crying real tears. Sure, she could turn on those big brown water faucets any time she wanted but, this time her tears were coming from her broken heart. And Finn knew the difference. It killed him to see her so effected by the feelings of this character that he was certain matched her own yesterday.

_**Paul: (Moves towards her) Now wait a minute, Corie..**. _Finn found her hand with his own. She froze at first, but relaxed and let them intertwine with his.

_**Corie: No- (turns away from him) I can't look at you. I can't even be in the same room with you now. **_She squeezed his large hand a little more firmly.

_**Paul:**_** Why?** Finn spoke softly and straight to Rachel.**_  
_**

_**Corie: I just can't that's all. Not when you feel this way.**_

_**Paul: When I feel what way?**_

_**Corie: The way you feel about me.**_

_**Paul: Corie, you're hysterical.**_

_**Corie: (even more hysterically) I am not hysterical. I know exactly what I'm saying. It's no good between us, Paul. It never will be again.**_

Those were the words that broke her. Her greatest fear displayed on paper and read aloud. Her tears came harder, shaking her little body with her sobs. Finn took the script out of her hands and laid it on the table in front of them. Then, he returned to his spot next to her, this time, taking her into his arms cradling her to his body. She wrapped an arm around his waist, clutching his t shirt in her hand, and burrowed in to his side.

"I love you, Rachel. And I always will. Always," he whispered.

"Then why did you stay away from me, Finn? What were you doing that was so much more important than being here with me? Love wasn't enough, was it?"

He pulled her body back and tilted her face up to meet his. "That's not it at all, Rach. Look, you've been so pissed at me that you haven't let me tell you but I've been-"

There was a knock at the door. Finn dropped his head and growled in frustration. He looked back at Rachel who had tears in her eyes and the look of genuine interest in what he was about to say. He was about to suggest they just leave the unwanted visitor in the hall while they finally had the talk that was long overdue and highly necessary when there was a second much stronger knock at the door.

"Go see who it is. We can finish this later. I'm ready to listen, Finn." She let her hand rub his side a couple of times and nodded her head.

"OK," he said, a little bit deflated. He kissed her forehead and went to answer the door. If this was Kurt leaving his keys behind and he didn't get that moment back with her, he was going to go all Cain and Able on his brother. Another knock came before Finn could reach the door and it sent his tolerance level plummeting. He flung open the door, irritation evident on his face, expecting to see his annoying brother and was met, instead, by the presence of a stranger. A guy no less. He was quite a bit shorter than Finn (who wasn't?) and his piercing blue eyes, hiding behind a pair of rectangular frames, held a stark contrast to his jet black hair. Finn wasn't one to check out other dudes but this one could have stepped out of a magazine. He was dressed in dark jeans and a black button down and carried a messenger bag slung over one shoulder and two cups of Starbucks in his hands. And just what the hell was he doing here?

"Can I help you?" Finn asked.

"Uh... yeah. I'm here to see Rachel Berry?" He looked confused. "I have the right apartment right? I've only been here, like, three times."

Finn felt his gut tighten and the blood rush to his ears. _He's been here before?_

"Yeah, this is her place. Can I ask who you are?" Finn wasn't above using his size to intimidate as he stood a little straighter.

"Oh, pardon me. I'm Zackary Lyons, Rachel's scene partner at NYADA. We've all been kind of worried about her and so I volunteered to stop in and check on her. And I admit I kind of miss her laugh." He tried to lean to see around Finn into the apartment. "Is she – is she here?"

Finn clenched his jaw and tried to count to ten inside his head. _Miss her laugh? Who the hell does this guy think he is? Does he not even wonder who I am? Come to think of it- why doesn't he know who I am? Has she not told people about me? _

"Well is she?" Zackary prodded once more, clearing the red haze that Finn was currently trying to see through. He snapped back into his suddenly crappy reality.

"Yeah. She 's here. Come in I guess," Finn answered and stepped back to let him through.

Finn followed him into the living area where Rachel was, burning a hole in the back of his head with a heated stare. She had gone back to her script, but looked up when she heard to the two men re enter the room.

"Zack! What are you doing here?" Rachel was almost giddy at the sight of her new friend and Finn had to work to contain the growing hatred he was rapidly developing for this guy. He watched as the wiry little douche bag hugged Rachel and exchanged cheek kisses.

"Well, we have all been worried about you and I kinda missed you," Zack said as he took a seat next to Rachel on the couch, offering her one of the cups he was holding.

"Awww. Thank you so much!" She took a sip. "Zack... you remembered my coffee order?"

"Kind of hard to forget, Rach, we have coffee every Thursday," he laughed with her.

_Rach? RACH?_

Rachel's eyes drifted back to Finn for the first time and her deep knowledge of him wasn't even needed to pick up on the fury rolling off of him.

"Zack, um, this is Finn," she gestured toward Finn to come a little closer.

Familiarity registered on Zack's face. "Ah, the MIA boyfriend. Nice to finally meet you. Thought she might have been making you up to warn me off of her," he chuckled.

Finn's eyes narrowed and he moved his lips around, nostrils flared. _I'm gonna kill this guy. With my bare hands. _He caught a glimpse of Rachel's wide pleading eyes, begging him to just let it go.

Finn extended his hand to shake and when Zack reciprocated, Finn used more pressure than he should, and got a subtle, but still very much there, reaction. "Yep. That's me. But I'm very real, I promise." He cast his gaze on Rachel, hoping she would be reminded of that fact as well.

Awkward was the only way to describe the next few seconds as the three looked from one to the other.

Rachel spoke first.

"So, Zack, other than coffee and to bask in the glow of my bruises, what else is new?"

Finn sat in the chair farthest from the and let their conversation trail off as he became lost in his own thoughts. _This guy? She's friends with this guy? Look at him... all 'warn me off of her.' I'll warn you off of her. I'll break your pretty face. _He listened as they talked about things he had never heard of and laughed at jokes he was sure he had to be there for. He watched as Rachel touched his arm when she talked. _I sent her here alone, did I think she'd just go to class, come home, and miss me? _This was her life without him and he had no one to blame but himself. And, with all of this building up inside him, he had to get out. He stood abruptly and grabbed his coat from the hook.

"Where are you going?" Rachel asked, a little worry playing on her face.

"I just gotta go for a walk or something. Clear my head," he was short with her, but not mean at all. He turned to walk out.

"When will you be back?" she asked, more worry in her voice.

"I don't know," he said quietly and walked out the door.

**Awww. Poor Finn. Rachel's cracking, though. Let me know what you think... and as a thank you for being so patient with this update... I am posting and immediately starting on Chapter 6. So... it should be up soon! Thank you for your reviews and kind words. They make me so happy :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Reviews are precious. Thanks so much!**

It was nearing midnight when Finn sneaked back into the apartment trying no to wake anyone. He closed the door carefully and slowly slid his shoes off his feet. He let his head rotate around, closing his eyes and allowing the tension to release a little. Running a hand through his hair, he stepped around the corner, intent on reaching the couch so he could lie there, sleepless, thinking about how he got into this mess in the first place. But, there on his makeshift bed, sat the person who was the catalyst for all of it. Her leg, casted, was propped on the table in front of her and the only light came from a small table lamp next to her. Her arms were crossed in front of her, and though there was a magazine in her lap, she showed no interest. His breath caught in his chest, partly from being startled, the other because she had a skilled way of disarming him completely just by looking at him. It was eerily silent and he knew she knew he was standing there, but she had yet to acknowledge his presence. Finn continued into the room and slowly took a seat in the big chair next to the couch. It was where he had been sitting a mere 5 hours ago when everything became too much for him and he had to retreat.

They sat there, neither saying a word for over fifteen minutes. Rachel's eyes never left the coffee table, and Finn's never left Rachel. Both of them had plenty to say, but neither would be the first to say it. He watched her biting on her lower lip and thought how under different circumstances that might be really hot. Then he was right back to the all consuming torture of wanting her to speak first and fearing what she would say. Just when he was about to lose his mind, she finally broke the tension.

"Where have you been, Finn?" Her voice was soft and calm, but did little to mask her feelings of hurt and anger.

"I just went for a walk around the city. I haven't been out of this apartment since I got here and I-"

"I don't mean tonight." Her accusing eyes captured his in an instant.

He nodded. Once. He cleared his throat and took deep breath.

"What time did Zeke leave?" he asked pointedly instead of offering an answer.

It was a cheap shot and he knew it. But, stalling felt good right now. It wasn't that he didn't want to have this conversation. He just didn't want to have this conversation right now. Right now, he wanted to know more about this Zack character. Just how long had he been sniffing around Rachel and how much encouragement had she given him? His walk had helped him come to terms with the fact that any guy in her life might as well have been put there by him personally. She was the most beautiful and talented woman he had ever known. It was only logical that other guys would see it, too. He had just never really thought she would reciprocate. But, from the chummy looks and giggles Zack was receiving, earlier that afternoon, Finn was starting to think maybe he had been dead wrong.

"It's Zack- and what difference does it make? Don't try to change the subject."

"I wasn't trying to change the subject, Rachel. If you're ready to listen, I'm ready to talk. I was just wondering if I should be more concerned about us finally having this conversation or you having a boyfriend."

Her mouth dropped open and her eyebrows crinkled. He watched for the little vein in her forehead to make an appearance and knew straight away that he had made a huge mistake. This could only end badly. One day he was going to have to invent a way to put words back in.

"I. Cannot believe. You just said that to me. How dare you, Finn? You disappear from my life for six months, disregarding the fact that you lied to me about where you were, and you think you can get angry because I've made other friends?"

"I didn't...I didn't technically lie to you about where I was," he said weakly.

"Um? Really? OK. Were you at Ft. Benning, Georgia?" she asked, fire in her eyes.

He deflated. "No."

She opened her hand and gestured toward him with a wave that clearly said, "I told you so."

"But, I never _technically_ said that was for sure where I would be. For sure. Technically." He mumbled his excuse and shrugged lightly.

"A lie by omission is still a lie, Finn. You knew I thought that's where you were, therefore, it was a lie. You know what? That's fine,but I am totally entitled to have made a life here without you since you decided you didn't want to be a part of it." Her arms, which had been flailing as she used them to help emphasize her points, were once again folded tightly across her chest. She fumed for awhile, tapping her good foot and shaking her head at the thoughts that she was holding inside her head.

"I never said I didn't want to be a part of it. I said I shouldn't be a part of it. There's a difference," he said quietly. Sincerely.

Rachel looked up to see his face. He was staring at the ground and his sadness touched her heart even if she didn't want it to. She couldn't help it. She blamed the damned tether. She felt him whether she liked it or not. And the look on his face was definitely pulling at it.

"I'll ask again. Where have you been?" She was less accusatory this time.

"This is a pretty long story. You sure you wanna stay up? We can do this tomorrow morning," he said, honestly not stalling, just stating the facts.

"No. It's been long enough already and I can't keep feeling this way toward you. We're doing this now." She was resolute and he knew it.

"We are going to be here awhile." He issued one last chance for her to opt out.

"Then, you better go start some coffee." She didn't take his offer.

Finn returned from the kitchen a few minutes later, coffee in hand, and refrained from uttering the snarky comment on his tongue about the other coffee she had received that day. He handed her a cup and sat down next to her on the couch, sipping his own.

"Where's Kurt? I would have thought he would be waiting up with you," he asked, in part because it was true, and also to stall just a little bit longer. It was always hard for Finn to figure out where to begin when entering into life's biggest conversations. Jumping right in always felt to abrupt, but making small talk for the sole purpose of prolonging the inevitable just seemed lame.

"He's actually spending the night at the office. He has a pull down bed in his boss' office for when she needs him to stay late and arrive early. I don't know how he stays sane with that woman pulling his strings like she does. But, he says all creative geniuses must start somewhere." She shrugged and took a tentative sip, realizing shortly before she brought the cup to her lips that she had never tasted Finn's coffee. It was good. "You make good coffee. Carole taught you well."

"Yeah, I guess." He sipped his as well and they returned to the awkward silence that had plagued them since he walked back through the door.

"Finn. C'mon. If we have any chance of fixing this, we've got to lay it all out on the table."

She was right. He knew she was right. He sighed heavily and leaned forward to place his coffee on the table she was resting her leg on. His eyes settled on her cast; a reminder of what brought him here in the first place. He instinctively reached his hand out to touch it gently. He winced when he thought of her being in pain. Physical or otherwise. He felt her eyes on him and recoiled his hand, realizing what he was doing. He sat back in his seat and looked at her, still debating exactly how to start.

"OK. I guess I'll start at the beginning. First, you have to understand that everything I have done I did for you, OK? Believe me, sending you off in a direction I wasn't going was the hardest thing I have ever done. And I think it's the hardest thing I will ever have to do. Unless I lose you altogether, which kind of makes me want to throw up just to say out loud. Anyway, just remember that I love you and in a perfect world I would have spent the last six months right here." She nodded, still very much keeping her emotions reigned in.

"Well, after I lost sight of your train, it kind of hit me what I had just done and I lost it. It's a good thing everybody was there because, like, I couldn't even drive. Kurt and Mr. Schue had to help get me to a bench cause I was sort of frozen in place. I kept staring at the empty tracks wondering what the hell I was supposed to do. Cause, I hadn't really thought further than getting you to New York."

Rachel was listening intently, a rare neutral expression on her face.

"Everyone hugged me and stuff and they all left and I was still sitting on that bench staring at the tracks. Mr. Schue said that I had done what was best for us in the long run. But, I didn't care about the long run. I wanted you back in my arms as soon as you were out of them. Then, he said something that really got to me. He told me that he always knew it would be you and me. From day one. And I laughed even though I was crying my eyes out, because I remember day one. Do you?"

Rachel couldn't stifle the giggle that came out of her mouth. "I scared you senseless."

He laughed with her. "Yes, you did. But only because I had never seen anybody that passionate. I know what to call it now, then I just called it..."

"Crazy," she finished with another giggle.

"Well... yeah," he said admitted with affection.

"But, after that, once I knew you weren't -"

"hiding under your bed..." she interjected with another laugh and a roll of her eyes.

His smile faded. "I'm really sorry I said that." He was dead serious.

"Finn, it's OK. I was kind of too much. I still am too much sometimes. I know you weren't being mean." She searched his eyes until she found acceptance of what she had told him.

"You were the first person in my life to tell me I'm talented. No one had ever said that to me before. Not even my Mom." The reverence with which he uttered those words caught her off guard. It was then that she knew beyond doubt or reason that she was going to forgive him. She wasn't through being mad at him, but she knew she's get there eventually. But, she showed no outward signs, regaining her stoic stature.

"Anyway, Mr. Schue told me that he told you once that you'd find somebody that would like you for you and he knew that somebody was me before I did."

A voice from the past filtered in through her thoughts. _"You should know that there's some boy out there who's gonna like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don't like... Those are gonna be the things he likes the most."_ She smiled at the memory and the fact that their teacher had been so very right.

"_I like you."_ She remembered Finn's face when he said those words to her. No one had ever said anything like that to her. He was always so open with her. So honest. Until lying to her for the past six months.

"... he also told me," his current conversation drifted back into her consciousness, "that even though he thought we were too young to get married, that he knew we would be forever. Or at least that we had what it took. So, that made me feel a little better. You know?" She nodded. "Then, Kurt drove me home and my Mom and Burt met us there. I told them not to come with us to the station cause I didn't know if I'd be able to hold it together. Mom was up with me all night the night before because I kept throwing up and crying."

"Finn," she said with sympathy.

He shrugged one shoulder. "Hardest thing ever, remember? I told my Mom that I had brought up Ft. Benning to get you to go. She's still mad at me about that, by the way. Not as mad at me as you are, but she's pissed. She still remembers what it was like for her when my Dad told her he was signing up."

"Why Ft. Benning? Where did that even come from?" she asked.

"It's where I would have gone. I had met with a recruiter. It was something I was seriously considering. But then, my Mom convinced me that I would honor my Dad more if I lived my own life and did what I was passionate about. That I could be his honorable discharge."

"That's a sweet way of looking at it," she said.

"Yeah." He sat without talking for a few seconds.

"Finn, while that's very sweet, it still doesn't help me understand why you lied to me. I mean, I guess I know WHY you lied, but with something so serious? And then, to just drop out of my life for six whole months? And, who knows how long it would have been if I hadn't gotten hurt? Your Mom knew this whole time and didn't tell anyone?"

He nodded nervously. "Burt knew, too. They hated keeping the secret, but they decided it was my news to tell when I was ready. And they've been in DC so it was pretty easy for them."

He could see by the look on her face that she was growing impatient. "OK. I can get all that. But, you still haven't told me where you've been."

"I'm getting to that. So, I kind of just moped around the house for like three weeks. I'd hear Kurt on the phone with you and sit outside his room in the hallway trying to imagine your voice on the other end. It took everything I had not to run in there and grab the phone away from him. So, one night after one of those calls, I packed up my stuff, left a note, and took off."

"You just left?" Concern covered her face as it started to sink in just how effected he had been by this. He was broken, too.

"I just left. I didn't even know where I was going. I just started driving and somewhere around Missouri, Puck called. He was in California and I talked to him about how lost I felt and he offered me his couch. So I drove until I hit LA."

"You were in LOS ANGELES?" she raised her voice in surprise.

"Yeah," he answered sheepishly. He watched her cheeks flush. He saw the little vein on her forehead return.

"Look, before you unleash your craz- uh- your opinions, just let me finish, OK?"

Her eyes narrowed in response and he watched as her breathing became heavier.

"Rachel, I was a mess when I got there. I just followed Puck around helping him clean pools and feeling like crap cause I wasn't with you and I had no plan for my future and I wasn't with you..."

"You already said that," she corrected.

"I know. But it was the worst part so I said it twice," he said.

Rachel rolled her big brown eyes and pretended not to care about that little bit of sweetness. He continued on trying to get to any part of his story that wouldn't piss her off. He sincerely hoped there would be one.

"I had been there for like a month and a half when I started talking to this guy whose pool we had been cleaning and we kind of became friends and after a couple of weeks, I told him our story. I told him about you and how much it was killing me to be away from you but I needed to make something of myself before I could be with you again. I told him I wanted to be an actor but probably wasn't good enough cause I didn't get into Pace. And he told me that could have just been from lack of experience. Soooo, come to find out, he's an instructor at this place called Actor's Boot Camp. Kind of ironic, I know, but it's real and, like, real people on TV go there and stuff. He asked me if I wanted to come and check it out and sit in on the classes instead of getting paid for his pool service. I went. And after a week he told me I really had potential. It was awesome, Rach, I really learned a lot and I got some head shots and got to put the class on my resume, which is pretty bare, but I'm working on it. I even got to audition for some shows. Then he found out I could sing and he hooked me up with a vocal coach and I'm really improving. I think this may turn into more than a dream, Rachel."

Rachel stared at Finn with tears in her eyes. She was so proud of him. She was so happy for him. She loved him so much. And in that moment, she was madder at him than she had ever been. Several minutes went by as she tried to decide how to react. It was a lot to take in all at once and none of it explained why he lied.

"Finn, that's all very wonderful. And under different circumstances no one would be cheering you on louder than me. And at some point, maybe I will, but none of it explains why you didn't tell me." It wasn't just that she was mad. She was so, so hurt. Above all else, she had always cherished the fact that the most powerful aspect of their relationship was the fact that they were best friends as well. A team. And, all of these incredible things had happened to him and he had purposefully left her out of them.

He stood cause he couldn't hold his body still anymore. He walked across the room from her and turned to face her.

"Rachel, I had to prove something to me."

"And you couldn't prove that here? Do you know how many acting schools there are in New York City, Finn?"

"No, Rachel, you don't get it. It was just a fluke that I got the chance out there. If I hadn't met my teacher in the way that I met him, I wouldn't have been able to go to those classes."

"That's what you think, Finn."

"No, it was what I thought. I never saw what you saw and I didn't want to be around when you finally realized what a loser I really was. Here you were this outstanding talent who got into a prestigious school and you were going to stay behind for what? For me? You had to go and I just couldn't yet. I wasn't gonna come here and just be some dead weight you had to drag around. And, I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't proved it to myself."

This actually made sense to her. She had done a lot of proving things to her own self in the last few months.

"We had to show ourselves that we could be successful alone. So that when we came back together, no one was sharing their power with the other. We could find our own power and combine it and be, like, indestructible or something." He turned away from her.

"But, why not include me?" She spoke softly, the hurt evident in her voice.

He turned back around abruptly. "Because what if I failed? What if I wasn't good enough? Then I would have hurt you, gotten your hopes up, and disappointed you all in a matter of months. I didn't want to tell you until I was 100% sure. And looking back, that was totally unfair to you and I am so stupid to have never considered you being afraid for me. I'm so sorry."

Rachel ignored his apology. "Were you ever planning to tell me?"

"Yeah. Of course. I had like one week of the last class left when I got the call that took ten years off of my life. I was going to just show up here like I described to you. Eugene, that's my instructor, hooked me up with some more classes here. I'm supposed to start in the Spring. I promise, I was on my way home to you when you got hurt."

He watched her tears fall faster than she could wipe them away. He made it over to her in three strides and knelt in front of her on the floor. He took her hands in one of his and reached up to wipe the new tears with the other.

"Rachel, you need to know that even though I may have gone about it completely wrong, I had the best intentions where you are concerned. I told you I wanted to be a good man for you, but I had to believe I was that man. And I'm on my way to that. I'm sorry I let you think I was somewhere I wasn't. And, I'm sorry for- well... I 'm sorry for a lot of things. But I love you," he brought her hands to his lips and kissed them hard, "you have to know that. I love you more than anyone or anything else in my life. And I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. I want a life with you. Here. In New York. Your New York."

She looked down at his passionate, sincere face. She was so tired and her brain was reeling from all that she had just heard.

"Finn, I don't-"

"It's OK, Rachel, we don't have to talk about this anymore tonight. I'm not going anywhere. Unless you throw me out again." He smiled at her sadly and she just nodded, accepting his offer.

Finn stood from where he was kneeling and moved his arms around her to help her up. Once on her feet and held closely to his chest, she looked up into his eyes. She bit her lip and timidly laid her head against his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. He returned the hug eagerly and smiled as he laid his cheek against the top of her head. Finn stepped out of the embrace and let her lean against him as he walked her to her room. He helped her into the bed and helped her get comfortable.

"Can I kiss your forehead?" he whispered. She nodded and closed her eyes when his lips touched her skin. "Good night, Babe. See you in the morning." He reached the door when he heard her whisper.

"You can sleep in here, Finn. You'll be more comfortable."

She received a half smile and watched as he made his way around the bed, shedding his jeans and his shirt. He crossed the room to where he had left his bag and he threw on a clean T shirt and his PJ pants. When he crawled into bed he laid on his back, arm behind his head. Rachel lay on her back as well and just as he let his eyes fall shut he felt her small hand claim his own between them. He turned his head toward her to find her already looking at him.

"Still mad at me?" he whispered.

"Yes," she said, "but less than yesterday." She gave him a slight smile. "It's gonna take some time, Finn."

"I've got time," he answered.

"I'm glad you found your dream," she whispered.

"Thanks."

"Good night, Finn."

"Good night, Rach."

He fell asleep with her hand in his and knew that somehow this had to work out, because he was positive that after tonight, he'd never be able to sleep again without her by his side.

**So now you know where our Finn was all that time! Wonder how long it will take Rachel to fully forgive him? Reviews are better than chocolate! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi! Just wanted to say Hi!**

When Rachel opened her eyes the next morning, she became aware of three things. One, Finn had made coffee and she knew it had to have been Finn because Kurt only knew how to buy coffee. Two, the aroma from the coffee was coming from her nightstand where she found a carafe of hot coffee, a mug and a note:

_I had to run an errand. I promise I won't be gone long. Left you coffee cause I know you like it. _

_I love you (whether you like it or not)- Finn._

She smiled to herself and shook her head. She loved him, too. Of course, she loved him. More than any girl had ever loved any boy in the history of the world. And, deep in her heart she knew that he loved her. Maybe not even all that deep in her heart. She knew without having to search very hard. She was just still so hurt and she was certainly having trouble with the trust aspect of it all.

The third thing she realized was that she was alone in the apartment for the first time since she had come home from the hospital. The boys had refused to leave her without assistance for even a second and it was kind of nice to feel a little independent. Though, she wasn't in much better shape than when she started. Her leg still throbbed and it really itched a lot. Almost unbearably so at times. Her ribs were still extremely sore and it still hurt to breathe if she moved a certain way. She was having more frequent headaches that came and went , but she just attributed that to sleeping so much and the effects of the drugs she was taking. Her face now showed more faded bruises. All in all, she knew she was getting better, but still had a long way to go.

She was sipping her coffee when she heard keys in the front door and she smiled genuinely when she looked up and saw Finn coming through the door.

"Hey," he said with a smile. "Been awake long? I worried that you'd be stranded back here."

Rachel gave a flourish with her hand. "Not too long. Thanks for the coffee."

Finn removed his coat and rubbed his hands together. "No problem. How are you feeling?"

"Still sore. Like, everywhere, but what else is new?" she shrugged. "Where've you been?" she asked, taking another sip.

Finn's face took on a look of excitement and he came to sit beside her on the bed. "I was enrolling in those acting classes I told you about. The new session starts in three weeks, which gives me plenty of time to get you back on your feet and find a job and a place to live and-"

"A place to live?" Rachel interrupted with a question.

He turned his head slightly and looked at her kind of sideways. "Can't share a box with the Dude outside that thinks he's a cat."

"You mean you don't want to live here?" she asked with a slight pout that was sincere.

Finn looked a little surprised. "Do you want me to live here? I guess I kind of thought maybe you wouldn't since you might need time to think and you know? Forgive me and stuff."

Rachel felt a pang of sympathy shoot through her heart. She reached toward him to touch his hand and winced in pain so he closed the gap for her. She took it in hers and looked up at him with honesty shining in her eyes. "Finn, of course I want you to live here. It's all I've wanted since the day I moved in. And, yeah, I'm mad at you, but this is your home. It's always been your home. Because, wherever I am, mad or not, you will always, always have a home."

Tears covered his eyes and he nodded while tenderly taking her in his arms. Her arms tightened around his waist and she heard a whispered "thank you" and felt his hot breath on her hair. She disengaged herself by pulling back. "Good," she smiled, "now that we have that settled, help me out to the couch and tell me about this school," she said, trying to convey her genuine interest.

He did as she asked, picking her up from under her knees and around her sides, being careful not to squeeze her ribs. He turned his head to see her smiling at him. Face to face. He smiled right back at her and turned his head away in a last ditch effort not to just lean in the inch it would take to just kiss her. He sat her down on the couch, routinely getting her comfortable and then sat down at the opposite end, stretching his long legs out beside hers. They spent the afternoon talking. They talked for hours about his classes and what they would mean for his potential career. Rachel told him all the native knowledge she had gained since living in the city such as fastest routes to her favorite places and who not to say Hi to in the subway stations. She even mentioned that she knew they were hiring at a small theatre near NYADA for box office workers and ushers. He told her a little about what he had already learned and they were able to compare notes. He was even able to teach her a thing or two she didn't know. He shared stories from his adventures with Puck which included their womanizing friend accidentally hitting on what turned out to be a transvestite. They fell into their old ease around each other. It felt good for them to just be. No secrets, no boiling over anger but in it's place, lots of laughing and good conversation. Just Finn and Rachel and the friendship that started it all.

"What time is it?" she asked out of nowhere.

Finn looked at his phone and surprise crossed his features. "Quarter to five. Is that right? I had no idea it had gotten that late. Why am I not hungry?" he asked seriously, drawing a giggle from Rachel. "I'm serious!" he said, tossing a pillow at her.

"We had a snack, Finn. You went through a whole bag of chips." she said, tossing it back.

"Still. That's a snack. Not like a real lunch." he muttered under his breath.

Rachel shook her head and laughed at his reasoning. "I was hoping Kurt would be home by now. I need his help," she said offhandedly, stretching her arms over head.

"Why wait for Kurt? I can help you," he said with a shrug.

He noticed the blush rise from her neck to her cheeks as she shook her head. "Not with this."

"Rach. C'mon. It's me. What can I do to help you? It's kinda why I'm here, right?" he said with a half smile.

Rachel sighed nervously and shifted in her seat. She mumbled something he couldn't quite make out.

"Gonna have to say it a little louder, Babe," he prodded.

"I said. I need a shower. I haven't had one since I've been home and I feel extremely gross," she said, wrinkling her nose and sticking her tongue out slightly. "But I don't think I can manage the logistics and I can't get this thing wet. " She thumped her cast in disgust.

Finn swallowed thickly and tried to shake off the barrage of images that flickered through his mind.

"I – I can help you with that. I think," he said, and she gave him a weary look. "Look, you can't do it alone and Kurt has been so scarce who knows when he will be back?" He paused. "I'll be a good boy. I promise," he said, holding up three fingers although he had only been a boy scout for a few months until he outgrew his uniform and his Mom couldn't afford another one. "Besides, there's nothing on your body I haven't seen before." He raised an eyebrow and grinned at her. She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, the blush returning with fervor.

She shyly looked at her lap. "It's been awhile, Finn, since... you know... and we just... and I don't know if I'm-"

"Rachel," he said firmly, moving to stand in front of her where she sat on the couch. He held out his hand to her. She looked up into his caramel colored eyes, his closeness causing her breathing to suddenly become a little more shallow. "Don't be such a baby. We're grown ups, right? Just let me take care of you."

She saw the sincerity in his eyes, then looked at his outstretched hand and dropped her guard. She placed her hand in his and couldn't stop the shiver that rose up her spine when his warm hand closed around her own. Her eyes glanced back up to meet his own, a wide smile greeting her in return. He used his other arm to help her up and pull her into his side as she leaned on him to get to the bathroom. He situated her to sit on the toilet lid while he covered her cast with plastic wrap and then turned his back to her to start the water. She watched as he held his hand under the stream of water to test its warmth before pulling the knob to start the shower stream. Steam began filling the room and the sound of the water hitting the porcelain was soothing like an afternoon rain. He smiled down at her and for a split second she saw the nervous boy she had given herself to over a year ago. He helped her to stand and she raised her arms with a whimper because it still hurt to move that way. He helped her by bending down to pull her night shirt over her head. He had to hold in the gasp that came when he saw that she wasn't wearing anything but white cotton panties underneath. But, before he had to reign in his body's reaction, he saw the state of her torso for the first time. It was splotched with deep dark purple bruises and there was a long scrape on her thigh that he hadn't seen before. His brow furrowed and he wanted to cry. His face moved into several different expressions and he blinked against the tears that were threatening to blow his resolve to be strong.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel, " came out in barely a whisper as he softly caressed her ribcage with his hands, looking at her damaged little body.

"You didn't do it, Finn." She returned his whisper and touched his forearm, meeting his eyes. In them, she could see how much he hurt for her, how much he loved her. Here was this nineteen year old male in a steamy bathroom with his naked girlfriend and instead of focusing on the obvious, he was more concerned with her injuries. The ice melted a little more.

"Still," he said, his eyes never leaving hers. He dropped to his knees and when he received no protest, placed feather light kisses over her bruises. From his place below her he looked up to gauge her reaction and she simply touched the side of his face. His eyes closed and he turned his face into her hand for a moment before he rose back up to his feet. "Nothing's ever gonna hurt you again, you know that?"

Rachel nodded softly. "I know you'll do everything you can to stop it," she smiled. "Help me?" she questioned as she put her weight on him and struggled to get her panties off and around her cast. Finn stopped her by gently stilling her hands. He peeled them off and helped her legs through them, placing another feather light kiss on the scrape that covered her outer thigh.

She stood there before him. Naked. Vulnerable. Safe. She had never felt as safe with anyone as she did with Finn Hudson at that moment. Sure, she could see the arousal in the way his eyes darkened and the way his jeans suddenly looked fuller, but he was being so sweet. So chivalrous. She couldn't help but smile at him as he helped her get one leg over the side of the tub and then the other. She let her head fall back, the water feeling so amazing as it fell down her sore body. He reached in from around the shower curtain to grab the shampoo and when he did, his shirt got completely soaked, as did the floor. Rachel opened her eyes and laughed out loud.

"Finn, this is ridiculous. And it isn't going to work." She paused before she said the words that she was thinking. She chewed her bottom lip before giving in. "You're going to have to get in here with me."

The shampoo bottle dropped from his hand and they both scrambled to catch it. He barely managed to hang on to it. "Are you sure, Rachel? I mean... yeah, it would be easier, but, I don't want to, you know, make you uncomfortable."

She smirked at his flustered reaction. "Nothing you haven't seen before, right?" she joked. "And besides, I trust you." The words hung between them as she came to the realization that she meant what she said.

He nodded in understanding as he fought against the lump that formed in his throat. "I won't try anything, I promise," he said so sweetly it broke her heart a little.

"I know you won't," she said with absolute seriousness.

Finn closed the curtain and undressed, leaving his black boxer briefs on to be on the safe side. He opened the curtain and climbed in with her. She was already facing him and both of them stood under the water, fidgeting and smiling awkwardly at one another. He tentatively reached out to take the shampoo again, squirting some into his hand before massaging it into her wet hair. He let his fingers linger while he worked up a thick lather, pressing them into her skin. He tried to ignore the soft moans that were escaping her, but he couldn't stop being a guy long enough not to get turned on by the sight in front of him. She tilted her head back to let the water wash away the soap and he stepped closer to her to reach around her head to help rinse her long dark hair. The skin of his chest brushed the hot, wet skin of hers and her head shot up in response. In their contact, she also felt what his act of love was doing to his body and she was equal parts embarrassed and flattered.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's fine, Finn. Thank you," she said and received a shy nod.

Finn continued helping her through her shower, letting her do what she could and just supporting her weight for the most part. She asked him to shave her uncovered leg which brought out a lot of laughing on both their parts. He was surprised to find that it wasn't unlike shaving his face, but also found he was much more careful not to cut her than he normally was with his own face. He found that the fact that he was caring for her took over the initial 'this is so hot I might explode' feelings he was having. He reached around her to shut off the water and was pleased to hear the deep inhale it brought out of her. It felt good to know this was having an effect on her, too.

"Shut up," she said playfully when she saw the smirk slide across his lips and knew she had been busted.

"What?" he said, feigning his innocence before chuckling and receiving a sharp jab to the side. "OW!" he chuckled. "Watch it, now."

Finn stepped out first, grabbing for a towel and drying himself off before wrapping the towel around his waist. He reached under the towel and brought out his soaking wet underwear, letting them fall with a loud slosh on the floor. He looked back up at Rachel and caught her watching him with great interest, her bottom lip held prisoner by her teeth. He arched one eyebrow and she quickly looked away. With a soft laugh, he helped her onto solid ground and dried her off as well. She walked him through the steps of making the towel on her head into a 'turban thing' as he called it. After stopping for laughter several times, on the third try, he got it right. He carefully removed the plastic from her cast and helped her into her robe from behind. He tried to be a gentleman, hell, he deserved a freaking medal for that shower, but he couldn't help but sneak a peek at her perfect backside as she slid into her robe. Once it was around her, she leaned back into his chest and let her head fall back against him. He let his arms fall around her waist from behind as he tied the belt around her.

"Thank you, Finn," she said softly.

"Anytime," he said before dropping a kiss onto the towel on her head.

They emerged from the bathroom with Rachel in Finn's arms, her small curled against his bare chest. They were met by the crossed arms, amused smile, and perfectly groomed raised eyebrows of Kurt Hummel. He was waiting for them as he leaned against the opposite wall, having heard their laughter and deducing what they were doing.

"I see you two are making nice today," he said, barely containing his teasing giggles.

"Don't start, Kurt," Finn muttered as he passed him to take Rachel to her room.

"I was just making an observation," Kurt said in his saintliest of tones.

Before Finn rounded the corner, Kurt caught Rachel's eye over his brother's shoulder. She nodded as it to say 'everything's gonna be OK' and he blew her a kiss before going to start dinner.

Finn sat Rachel down on the white down comforter and moved to her dresser to pull out clean panties and her pajamas. He returned to her and knelt to slip the pink striped cotton onto her legs.

"I don't think I've ever put these ON you before," he thought out loud, earning a light kick in the chest, almost knocking him backward. He let his hands brush her skin as he brought the underwear up over her hips. The chill bumps he left behind did not escape his notice. He waited while she untied the belt around her waist and slipped her plush white robe off her shoulders and onto the bed around her. Finn closed his eyes and clenched his jaw while helping her pull her black tank top over her head and over her sensitive ribs. He took her pajama bottoms and rolled them up over her cast, sliding them up her long legs.

"There. All done," he said, stepping back with his hands on his hips, proud of his accomplishments. The first, being dressing her. The second, not losing every ounce of self control it took to do it.

"Can you do one more thing for me?" she asked hesitantly.

"Anything," he answered.

"Put lotion on my leg and my skin? I don't want to get all dry and itchy. Moisturizing is very important to me," she said with all seriousness.

Finn breathed deeply, suddenly wondering if she was now doing this to him on purpose, but remembering her normal routine and deciding it was just Rachel being Rachel.

"Sure," his voice cracked.

He reached to retrieve the lotion bottle from the nightstand beside them. He started by crouching in front of her and raising the leg of her PJ's. He warmed the lotion in his hand before applying it to her impossible smooth skin. She smiled at him sweetly while she watched him work and he tried to concentrate more on her face than the sensations under his hands and what they could potentially do to other more sensitive regions of his body. The sensual scent alone was taking it's toll. He could never resist the vanilla. When he finished with her leg, he let his hands move to her foot where he lightly massaged for a few moments before moving to sit on the bed behind her. He massaged more cream in to her arms and shoulders, covering the exposed part of her neck and back.

Rachel was not having the easiest time remaining calm herself. Feeling his big strong hands on her skin was making her forget how hurt she was both physically and emotionally. His touch seemed to have healing powers when connected to her body. And when he moved around behind her, his breath on her hair, she fought her natural urge to turn her head up to kiss him. But it wasn't time. Not yet.

Finn cleared his throat, bringing them both back into the moment. "Good?" he asked.

She simply nodded her head. "Help me get my hair up? It hurts to raise my arms."

"OK," he agreed, helping her up and over to her dresser to stand in front of her mirror. She watched into the glass as Finn removed the towel, letting her wet strands fall down her back. He ran the brush through it very gently, surprised at how sexy it was just to brush her hair. Their eyes stayed locked in through the aid of their reflection. He continued his strokes and they smiled small smiles at each other as he brushed. He found himself once again forced to beat back the feelings that were building inside him. He managed to eventually get her hair into a ponytail and he stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders, his face inching closer to her shoulder when the aroma of dinner began wafting through the room and his stomach betrayed him by growling. The tension was officially broken and they couldn't help but chuckle.

"Let's go feed you," she said, rolling her eyes and grabbing onto his waist, pushing him to lead her down the hallway.

"Ah. That's my brother. Smells food, comes running," Kurt teased.

"That's right," Finn responded, "so serve it up." He deposited a smiling Rachel into a chair at the table. He walked back over, grabbing Kurt in a head lock, laughing heartily as his brother tried to fight his way out of it and then fussed over his hair mumbling something ending in, 'cretin.'

Finn and Kurt brought their plates to the table, Finn bringing Rachel's, too.

"Thanks," she said, smiling up at him. He winked and shrugged one shoulder, causing her to blush all over again.

The three of them settled in to eat like it was their normal routine. Like they had been doing it for months.

"You will not believe what the terrorist made me do today," Kurt said dramatically in between bites.

Rachel smiled a smile that told Finn they had this conversation a lot. "Did she make you tweeze her Pomeranian's eyebrows again?" she asked, twirling her pasta onto her fork.

"We agreed never to speak of that degrading moment in history ever again," Kurt reprimanded., glaring at a laughing Finn.

"Sorry, go ahead," Rachel said.

"I thought I had FINALLY gotten her to start listening to my ideas about the spring line and how we should go about covering it, and that's AFTER spending most of this week alphabetizing her shoes by brand and then by name and trying to teach that evil cotton ball of a dog she's got to use a toilet, and she decided today to go in a totally different direction. I almost quit on the spot, but I know this could open so may doors for me," Kurt lamented.

He looked up to see the bright red faces of Kurt and Rachel as they did everything they could to keep from bursting out laughing. Unable to contain it any longer, Rachel cracked first which caused Finn to launch into a laughter attack, himself. They laughed until tears fell while Kurt looked on in disdain.

"Laugh it up. But I can't wait until one of you has to play a dancing chicken or something," he said flippantly, forcing his friends to laugh even harder.

As well as he could between bouts of laughter, Finn said, "Dude, you potty train a Pomeranian for a living!"

Kurt held his indignation as long as he could before he, too, joined them in their hysterical fun.

After dinner, Kurt turned in early, letting Finn clean up. But not before Finn got in one more jab. "Good night, Kurt. And I read somewhere that putting cheerios in the toilet gives the little guys something to aim for." A piece of garlic toast glanced off of Finn's head as his brother disappeared around the corner. Finn turned to see Rachel cracking up. His heart was so full and he was regretful that he had missed this all this time and so thankful to finally be right where he belonged.

Finn ended his day where he began it, in the bed next to Rachel. She laid on her side facing him as he did the same. His arm was tucked back under his pillow and her hands were under her face.

"This was a great day, huh?" she asked in a hushed tone.

"Yeah," he replied dreamily, "it really was."

"Thank you. For taking such good care of me. And for being such a gentleman in the shower."

He smiled at her. "Well, I wish I could say all my thoughts were totally innocent, but I'd be lying. Your body just does that to me. But, it was worth it to help you out." He shrugged.

She unexpectedly reached out a hand to stroke his cheek lovingly and he pulled it to his lips to kiss it before letting her return it to it's original spot. They did nothing but stare into one another's eyes and breathe for several minutes. Words unspoken passed between them, feelings conveyed through their eyes only.

"You can," she finally said softly.

"Really?" he asked in surprise.

"Yes," she nodded.

Finn moved slowly, afraid that if he moved to fast he'd either wake up or she'd change her mind. He slid over closer to her, putting his arm around her waist, never losing eye contact with her. He propped his weight up onto his elbow and smoothed the hair away from her face with his free hand. He studied her face as he moved closer with his own, continuing to stroke her cheek with his thumb. One last assurance with her eyes and he let his lips touch hers. It was light at first, reserved. Then, a little harder as he let his body get used to the electricity flowing through it. Six months. 176 days. 4,224 hours give or take a few. That's how long he had gone without this feeling of completeness. And that's what he felt when he kissed Rachel: complete. She opened her mouth and allowed him to deepen the kiss, her hand buried in the hair on the back of his head. He let his tongue taste her briefly and it took all he had not to devour her right then. He felt her pull lightly on his lower lip before they released each other. Their eyes shined in the darkness as they returned to their starting position, this time with their fingers intertwined between them.

"God, I've missed you," he breathed.

"You have?" she asked.

"Every minute of every day," he admitted.

She nodded in acceptance. "Will you hold me?"

"You never even have to ask," he smiled as she backed up to lay against him, one arm under her head, the other resting on her hip.

"Good night, Finn," she said.

"Good night, Rachel."

Silence filled the room for a long moment and just when he thought she had fallen asleep, he heard it.

"I love you."

His heart beat rapidly and if he hadn't been holding her, he would have fist pumped, but instead, he buried his face in her hair.

"You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that."

"I think I do," she said.

"I love you, Rachel. More than anything."

They fell asleep closer to mended than the night before and as long he knew she loved him, he knew they'd be alright. Something she had said haunted him as he heard her breathing deepen and even out. She had questioned whether he had missed her or not. Did she really think he hadn't? That he didn't physically ache for her every day for six months? He laid awake for many more hours worrying over it until he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. But, before he fell asleep, he resolved to get his true feelings through to her somehow and make her believe them without a doubt. Because, there was nothing in the world he wanted in his life more than Rachel Berry.

**So, what'd ya think? We're getting closer to fixed! Reviews will be considered therapy as I anticipate Episode 4!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I am so thankful to all who are reading and all who are reviewing. Those reviews keep this thing going! I am really wanting to write the sequel to I Don't Give Up That Easily. I believe I am also gonna write something today to go with episode 3 to ease my weary Finchel heart after last week. Then after this upcoming week, I'm gonna have to read it every day during the hiatus, using it like a band aid! I hope you are still enjoying this one. I am posting them to a Tumblr, also: .com**

A week later, Rachel's soreness was starting to decrease a little, but her cast was getting very cumbersome and her frequent helplessness was starting to grate on her nerves substantially. She was starting to become ill tempered and hostile and Kurt and Finn were staying out of her way unless needed and keeping a low profile.

"I need help!" she bellowed from her bedroom. Kurt and Finn, who were sharing a pizza in the living room looked at each other in response.

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Dude, I went last time," Finn whined in a whisper.

"Yes, but I'm not the one who was seconds away from 'in sickness and in health,'" Kurt stated with a winning grin.

With a defeated wince, Finn walked with slow steps down the hallway. He apprehensively peeked around the door to find her out of breath and trying without success to paint her toenails. She looked up to see him watching her.

"Well, are you going to just stand there looking like a big tree, or are you going to help me here?"

He was taken aback at how mean she had gotten. He understood being a little bit irritated, but there was no reason for her to be so surly.

"I think I'll pick tree if that's how you're gonna talk to me thank you very much," he said like a father disciplining a child, and crossing his arms across his chest.

He watched her face fall a bit. Then her lip quivered. Then the tears came. Then full on sobbing. Before one drop could fall from her face, he was next to her, holding her close.

"God, Rach. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I was just-"

"No, Finn," she said between sobs against his chest, "I'm sorry. Here you are just coming to help me and I am being such a brat. It's just that I am going stir crazy in here and I can't do anything for myself and I have to rely on you guys to do everything and to be honest, everything still hurts, and I have just had more than I think I can take," she broke at the end into another round of sobbing. Finn rocked her gently and stroked her hair, shushing her with whispers. When he felt her calm down a little, he drew his body back to look at her. He smiled softly at her red puffy eyes and the pout he found on her lips.

"I hate that you have to go through this, Rachel," he said softly, reaching over to grab a tissue to wipe her tears.

She took it from the hand that was dabbing it against her eyes to blow her nose. "Finn, I'm just not used to being this still. I feel like I am about to crawl out of my own skin."

It was then that Finn had a stroke of genius. A wide, bright smile appeared on his face.

"What?" she asked him.

"You'll see. Let's get those toes painted and then you'll see," he smirked.

She looked at him questioningly as she handed over the polish. Finn moved back on the bed to place her feet in his lap. He had no idea what he was doing, but it seemed pretty simple. Get the nail red without painting the skin or the blindingly white comforter. They both giggled at the situation they found themselves. Here was this 6'3" hulk of a man, daintily painting toenails. When he was finished, he helped her hold up her uninjured leg to assess his work.

She gave a look of surprised approval. "Nice job, Hudson. Wait til Puck hears about how good you are at pedicures," she said teasingly.

"Oh, no, no, no. We don't speak of this," he chuckled, "What happens in our bedroom stays in our bedroom," he said before the words he had just uttered caught up to his brain. He quickly glanced up to see her somewhat stunned expression. "Um... I mean..."

Her momentary shock melted into a smile and she covered his hand with her own.. "No. I liked the way that sounded. It was just the first time I had heard it from you. 'Our bedroom.' It's nice," she said with a dip of her head, suddenly shy.

Sucking in his bottom lip, he slowly started crawling towards her. He saw her chest rise as she took in a deep breath, her teeth chewing at her own bottom lip. He stretched his long body out beside her as his eyes carefully studied her every feature. She looked back at him just as intensely. His hand rose slowly to caress her cheek and she closed her eyes and turned her face to feel more of its warmth.

As he inched his face closer, his breath warm on hers, he whispered, "It is. And what happens in here stays in here. It's just for us." And his lips found hers in a soft kiss. "The fights." Another soft kiss. "The kisses." Another kiss. "The moans and the sighs." Another kiss, this one more intense. "Our little secrets."

And that's when Rachel couldn't take it anymore. She gripped the back of his head, fisting his hair in her hand and brought his face crashing down onto hers. She whimpered as she tried to take as much of him in as she could. Despite her hurt, this was her Finn and he was here in their room in their bed right where she had wanted him all those months. Being mad could wait because right now all that mattered to her was the feelings she got when she was kissing him. He responded enthusiastically, moving closer to her and holding her as tight as he could without hurting her. He rolled onto his back, bringing her over him so that the top part of her body was laying over his. He let her take control of the kiss, relishing the sensations of her full lips and her wet tongue, dancing with his. His hands roamed her back and risked moving lower, lightly grazing across her butt. She let her hand slowly travel from his ear, across his jaw, down his neck, pressing lightly as it made it's way down his chest and abdomen. She was just about to find what he hoped she was searching for when there was a prominent clearing of the throat at the door.

"I see it's a good thing you answered that call, brother of mine, cause clearly I would not have been able to give the lady the help she needed," he joked, biting his lips together to keep from laughing at them.

A pillow sailed across the room landing with a thud against Kurt's face. He bent to pick it up as he laughed heartily. "Has anybody ever told you your timing sucks?" Finn grumbled, turning to see Rachel with her hands over her mouth giggling hard. "What are you laughing at?" he asked playfully, bending to kiss her cheek. "It's just as well. I have some place I need to be," he said mysteriously as Rachel's giggles turned into a pout.

"Where are you going?" she asked with a furrowed brow.

"Oh... you know... errands and stuff." He slid off the bed and went to slip on his shoes. "I won't be long. Cock blocker over there will be here to take care of things until I get back." He bent to kiss her quickly, shoving Kurt gently on his way out.

"What's that all about?" Kurt asked.

"I have no idea," Rachel answered honestly.

"What did you call him in here for in the first place?" Kurt asked, moving to lay next to her in the bed.

Rachel smiled to herself. "That's our little secret," she replied.

Several hours later, Rachel and Kurt were sitting on the couch after he insisted she receive a facial, make up, and a hair styling session. He also helped her into a black cotton strapless maxi dress , adamant that she would only feel as good as she looked. He thought it would be a great pick me up and he was actually right. She definitely felt more human. Kurt excused himself to the restroom and there was a knock at the door. Having no one to answer the door, Rachel struggled onto her feet and hobbled to answer it. When she pulled it open, her heart fluttered and her breathing stopped altogether, because standing on the other side, leaning in the door frame was Finn Hudson, as tall and handsome as ever, dressed in a navy blue button down and dress jeans. He was holding a bouquet of star gazer lilies and roses.

"Wow, Rachel, you look stunning," he bent to kiss her cheek,"These are for you. Are you ready to go?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye and a dimple prominent on his cheek.

"What are you doing?" she asked, confused but smiling, taking the flowers from his hand and smelling them.

"I'm taking you out on a date, if you will go with me," he answered matter of factly.

She looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. "Um... have you forgotten that I am broken?"

"No, Ma'am, I have not. But, that won't matter where we're going."

"Have fun," Kurt called from behind her.

She turned to see him sharing a conspiratory smile with his brother. "You did this on purpose didn't you?" she said, gesturing to her dress.

"Guilty but not sorry. Don't forget your sweater. Oh, and I won't wait up."

Rachel narrowed her eyes at her friend before smiling genuinely. She then turned to her dashing date and allowed him to help her into her sweater and full length coat. Finn picked her up and carried her into the hall and onto the elevator. When they reached the bottom floor, a wheelchair was waiting for her.

"Your chariot, my lady?" Finn said, sitting her in the contraption gently before pushing her out the door.

They said nothing as Finn pushed her down the sidewalk. She breathed in the fresh, albeit cold, air and let it course through her body. She didn't even come close to realizing how much she missed it. Finn pushed her for seven blocks before turning down an alley way that made her a bit leery.

"Finn? What is this place?" she asked nervously.

"Trust me," was all he said.

She watched him fumble around with a set of keys before he finally got the door open and pushed her inside. It was pitch black and she wondered how Finn was able to navigate her through whatever room it was that she was in.

"Stay here. I'll be right back," she heard him say in the darkness.

"Oh, trust me. I won't be going anywhere in here," she said dryly.

Suddenly, she was lit with soft lights coming from over head. As her eyes adjusted she realized she was on a stage and there were theatre seats in front of her. "Finn?"

He was right next to her holding his hand out for her to take so that he could help her out of the chair. She willingly grabbed on and when he turned her around, she found herself staring at a wonderland of twinkling lights. They surrounded a large bed, center stage, that was facing a large white screen for watching movies. Off to the side was a table, perfectly set, and for the first time, Rachel registered the smell of food.

"How did you do this?" she asked, completely awestruck.

"I used my connections," he said jokingly. "No, my new acting teacher owns this theatre. He let me use all the props he had and a projector. So... this is dinner and a movie."

"Finn, I don't know what to-"

He kissed her cheek softly, causing her to forget the rest of her sentence. "You don't have to say anything. Let's just have fun, OK?"

She nodded in agreement and let him help her out of her sweater, revealing her tanned shoulders, and lead her to the table. He had gotten take out pasta delivered and she was very appreciative. They talked over dinner, mostly about how he had planned and set all this up in one afternoon. When they finished their meal, he came around to get her, taking her over to the large bed in the center of the stage.

She looked at him with questions in her eyes. "It's all I could find in the props room that I thought would make you comfortable. Just for snuggling." He helped her up onto it, and climbed in beside her, three remotes in his hand.

"What's all that for?" she asked.

"Well... this one is for the light board, this one is the DVD player, and this one is for the projector."

She laughed out loud. "This do it yourself movie presentation is a little complicated. So, what are we watching?"

He smiled as he reached down beside him, pulling out candy, popcorn, and sodas. "It's a surprise. Here," he said and handed her the snacks.

"Finn, I can't possible eat right now. I'm so full."

"It's OK. It's here if we need it. But I am gonna dig into these Sour Patch Kids." She smiled at his familiar choice as he positioned himself next to her. He opened the package and tossed one into the air, catching it in his mouth. This made Rachel laugh loudly.

"Start the movie, Finn," she said, shaking her head lovingly.

With one remote, he brought the lights all the way down, except the Christmas lights, and with another, he started the movie. Rachel didn't know what to expect, but she would have never been able to come up with what was playing before her. She looked to Finn as if to get an explanation, but, his eyes were fixed on the show. She turned her eyes back to see his face, larger than life, on the movie screen.

"Hey, Rach, it's me, Finn. But, you know that cause you can see me and you know who I am," he winked. "See, I kind of screwed up. I made this video for you as a wedding present. But then that didn't happen and I just kept it for later. Then, I really screwed up and let you think I went into the Army, which sucks, and I'll never be able to make you understand how bad I feel about that. I am so sorry for putting you through that. See, I was really messed up, Rach. I had no plans and what I thought were no qualifications and I wanted more for you than me. I had always thought that you were so much bigger than me. You told me that once, actually, and I don't think I ever got it out of my head. Cause you were right. You are bigger than me. And, I thought that I wasn't good at anything. But, I am. I am good at all the things you say I am because you don't hand out compliments easily and especially if you don't mean them. And the thing I am the best at is loving you. You can be hard to handle at times, but I seem to do a good job of handling you. I just wish I could do a better job of making you believe that I love you more than anything and that I want to be wherever you are no matter where that is. And, this past six months I've failed you there. And I know that I could say a bunch of stuff, but I think I'll let our story talk for me."

Rachel wiped away the tears that were already falling. She felt a strong arm come around her shoulders and she fell into his side as she heard the familiar opening chords to Don't Stop Believing... what followed was an hour of photos and videos he had compiled to the sounds of all of their meaningful songs. Some he took, some she took, some others took, but all of them bringing a flood of memories. Some she had no memories of. Like the one he threw in of him that someone had taken of him watching her sing Get It Right... There were hundreds of pictures and a dozen songs. Some of the memories were funny, some sentimental, but all of them served their purpose. In every image, his face said everything loud and clear and for the first time it became clear to her why he had done it. She even knew why he had lied. She **wouldn't** have gotten on that train if she hadn't been so shocked and left without any of her senses. She **would** have followed him to California or wherever he was going. And that's not what he wanted for her. He wanted for her what she wanted for herself. And he gave it to her. If she had known he was anywhere but a military base, somewhere she could not go, then she wouldn't be at the school of her dreams working toward achieving her ultimate dream. He went about it completely wrong, but she understood. And if possible, suddenly loved him more. He **had** dropped everything and come immediately when she needed him. He **had** allowed her to be angry and to take everything out on him. He **had** taken such loving care of her that her heart was overwhelmed at his tenderness. And he was here. Finally here beside her where she had ached for him to be for so long.

It was still and quiet when the music stopped and the video cut off. Finn sat staring at the remote in his hands, a little embarrassed after having watched their life together play before him. And, he didn't quite know what to say to Rachel. She had been teetering between wanting to scream at him in anger and wanting to hold him close and he wasn't sure what side she was leaning toward at the moment. He didn't have to wait long to find out because he felt her hand pulling his face around to look at her.

"You're still mad, I know. I get it. I just wanted you to have this. To see what we're made of and to know how deeply sorry I am for hurting you so many times."

"I have been more hurt than mad I think, Finn. When I learned that you could have been here with me and chose not to be, I guess I felt like you didn't want to be. Like, maybe you had decided that you just didn't want to be with me and took an opportunity to bow out gracefully."

"Rach, that's cra-"

"**But-** I was just overreacting. You're too good at loving me for me to doubt how you feel and I'm sorry I wasn't more adult about it. Because, I had enough faith to wait. There's a reason I didn't move on. I think I knew deep in my heart that you'd come."

"What about Zack?" he asked, an edge to his voice. "The two of you seemed pretty cozy. And even though it would destroy me, I won't-"

"Zack's gay."

"-stand in your- what?" Finn said, confused.

"He's gay," she giggled, "I had told him about you and I talked to him before he came over and had told him what happened. He was just messing with you and I let him because I was so angry. I'm sorry. I should have told you," she said, smiling apologetically.

Finn's mouth hung open slightly as he processed what she was telling him. "Gay?"

"Uh-huh."

"So, all of that flirting was for my benefit?"

"Afraid so."

"Damn, Rach. You are ruthless, you know that?" He began inching closer to her face.

"Yes, I do. Let that be a lesson to you. Don't piss me off again." She was smiling as she let her eyes flicker between his brown eyes and his soft lips.

"I'll try not to," he whispered and finally met her lips with his own.

She accepted his kiss willingly, opening her mouth to take in his bottom lip. He was tentative with her, checking her responses with each deepening of the kiss until she let him know once and for all that it was OK by using the collar of his shirt to pull him hard against her mouth, sliding her tongue inside his, eliciting a low moan. He lowered her gently onto the large bed, still attached at the lips and rolled her to lay across him as much as she could without pain and accommodating her casted leg. He hand repeated it's travels that it began earlier that day, this time lingering below his belly button, feeling his ab muscles tighten under her touch. He broke their kiss to bury his face in her neck, kissing and sucking lightly. He hand shot up under his shirt, needing to feel his heated skin under her finger tips. She rested it on his chest and he brought his hand over hers, separated by his thin shirt. Wriggling it free, Rachel brought it back out and began popping open his buttons with one hand until she had his shirt laid open. She dipped her head to place kisses across his broad chest letting her hand explore the parts she wasn't kissing and exciting when she heard his breathing hitch and his ragged exhale. She brought her mouth back to catch his own and he let his tongue brush her lips, causing her to press herself against him a little more. Breathless, he drew back to look at her face. He ran the back of his index finger across her cheek bone.

"You are so devastatingly beautiful, Rachel... I love that I can see your heart when I look into your eyes."

"It's yours," she whispered and he rolled her onto her back, careful not to put any weight on her torso. He slowly slid the top of her dress down, revealing a black strapless bra. Her bruises were yellowing and looked better than they did just a week ago. He kissed across them as he had done in the bathroom the day he gave her a shower before looking up to see her face lit with emotion. He brought himself closer to her face as his hand closed over her breast. She arched into his touch and let out a soft sigh. He noticed the front closure on her bra and unsnapped it, letting her perfect breasts fill his vision. "So..." he breathed, unable to form more thoughts. He brought his mouth down to take one of them in, feeling her hand bury itself in his hair and pull him closer to her. He paid attention to the other one in the same manner before sliding her dress off her body and tossing it onto the floor. She started pushing his shirt away from his body and he pulled it off and discarded it as well. She ran her hands down the length of his chest and abdomen, stopping at the button of his jeans to start the process of ridding him of them. He was glad to assist and before he could return his attention to her he was groaning out loud with his head thrown back because she had surprised him when she reached her hand into the front of his boxer briefs to take him in her hands. He let his arms fall to either side of her, holding his own weight by locking his arms. He opened his eyes to see her staring at him, he eyes darkened with wanting him. Her hand moved around him in an up and down motion and he could have sworn he was going to lose consciousness if he had to hold back any longer. She started pulling at the waist band and he took the hint and removed his last article of clothing. Before she could return her hand to it's previous location, he began kissing her starting with a long, wet, deep, mind numbing kiss to her mouth that was a little wild because he was channeling the sensations that were buzzing through his body. He had dreamed of this for six months and he was still trying to convince himself it was really happening. His hand lightly trailed over her breasts and down her side, lower and lower, until it found it's home between their bodies. She cried out softly and pushed herself against his hand. Removing the last barrier between them and dropping it on the floor he returned. He pushed against her a little and she rocked her hips up to meet his.

"Tell me," he said, his breath coming in gasps.

"I love you," she said, breathless herself.

"No... I know that. I need to know that you know I love you. That I want you," she writhed beneath him, seeking relief, he grunted, determined to hear her confirm his love before he went any further.

His eyes bored into her own, their breath filling the small space between them, sweat beginning to form on his brow. She raised her hands, taking his face in them. "Finn, no one has ever or will ever love me as much as you do. And looking into your eyes in this moment, I've never felt as safe or as wanted in my life," she said with all the love in her heart. She saw him close his eyes and smile. "Now, show me."

"I'm worried about hurting you."

"You won't." Her ultimate faith in him shining in her eyes.

He bent his head to kiss her deeply as he pushed himself into her, still keeping his weight off of her. Sighs and moans filled echoed in the large space as he set a rhythm and she matched it beat for beat. They lost control at the same time and their cries got louder and louder and then the silence returned. Only their erratic breathing could be heard.

Finn pressed his lips to Rachel's sweat covered forehead. He spoke between kisses. "I'm never leaving you again. Ever. I won't do it to you and I wouldn't survive it. I love you. I love you so much."

Rachel nuzzled her head into his neck and kissed the skin she found there. "I know, Finn. I know. And I love you, too. More than I can take sometimes. And don't worry, anywhere you go, I go., no arguing. And no trains."

He laughed as he agreed. "No trains."

A few moments of silence passed between them. "How are you feeling? You aren't hurt or anything are you?" He asked, checking her out briefly.

"I'm perfect, Finn. Absolutely perfect." She said sleepily and drifted off in his arms.

They returned to their apartment a few hours later and crawled into their own bed. They made love once more before going to sleep for the night. He was again, gentle. It was slow. It was heated. It was special. And it would become just one of the many secrets they would keep there. Finn was home, which meant Rachel finally was, too.

**I hope that was satisfying! She forgives him, yay! I have one more chapter and an epilogue in mind. Reviews are drops of love! I love hearing from my readers! **


	9. Chapter 9

**She forgave him. And I don't know about you but I think Finn could have stolen that video from Tumblr! :) This chapter is gonna be the last. It just feels complete after this chapter. Thanks for reading it, reviewing it, following it, and favoriting it! I know it is kind of short, but it served its purpose. I already have two things that I am working on. One is more of a one shot... the other is a sequel! If I can't get happy Finchel on my screen, I'll just write it! If you want something done right, do it yourself! But, I am thankful for these characters created by Mr.'s Murphy, Falchuk, and Brennan... I love to play with them! :)**

"No."

"C'mon, Rach, just do it."

"I don't want to."

"Please?" Finn pouted, giving her eyes that would melt stone.

"Fine," Rachel huffed and moved her hands from in front of her face.

They had awoken in a tangle, skin on skin. Though, they had woken up side by side for over a week, it hadn't been like this. They were whole again. And it was still in this tangle that Finn held his arm high above them, camera in hand, to document this moment in their history.

"Smile," he said softly, and she brought her head closer to his and smiled a shy smile, cupping his cheek with her hand, as he snapped the photo.

Finn brought the camera down so that they could view the snapshot together. They stared at it for awhile, both noticing the contentedness that was found on both their faces. Rachel tilted her face up to kiss his jaw.

"This will go perfectly with your gift," he said teasingly.

Rachel raised herself up slightly. "Gift?" she said with a bright, excited smile. "Well... give it to me!"

He laughed at the familiar zeal he saw in her when she knew a present was on its way. Finn stood, naked except for his black boxer briefs, and stretched his long body, causing Rachel's heart rate to increase significantly and a flush to fall over her face. He turned over one shoulder, catching her in an open mouthed stare, and grinned one hell of a grin.

"It's all yours," he said, cockiness rolling off his tongue.

"And only mine," she returned.

He went to the closet and came back with a pink gift bag stuffed with white tissue paper printed with gold stars. "Stars?" she said with a squeal.

"Of course, stars," he shrugged as he climbed back under the covers, leaning on one elbow.

Rachel looked at him before she dug into the bag and smiled at his sweetness. She brought her hand to his face, gently pulling it toward her own and placing a soft kiss on his lips. When she pulled her face away, she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth to savor the taste of him and then she broke into a ten thousand watt smile, giving another excited squeal and starting to dig into the bag.

A small gasp escaped her as she pulled it out of the bag. It was a silver frame just like the one that sat out on the shelf in their living room. This one was engraved as well. On the top it said, "_Looks like the universe did it's thing..."_ and on the bottom, _"shoebox apartment it is."_

Rachel didn't cry, surprisingly. This gesture was beyond tears. She just shook her head in absolute awe of this man. "Finn, I love this. Thank you."

"You are most welcome, Ms. Berry," he said before kissing her hand.

Rachel placed the frame on her nightstand and cuddled back into Finn's arms. He played with her fingers, caressing each one, stopping at her ring finger. After a moment, he asked, "Where is it?" unsure he should bring it up at the moment. He felt her body tense a little bit and felt her draw in a deep breath and then he felt her hot tears on his chest. Finn pulled her away so he could look into her eyes. He did not like the sadness he found there. He should have listened to himself. "Rachel, what's wrong?"

She wiped a hand under her nose and through her tears she said, "I think it was stolen. I haven't told you because I was so mad at you and then I just didn't want to think about it. But, I was wearing it on a chain around my neck the day I was hit and I guess somebody took it. I am so sorry, Finn. I am devastated about it. You have no idea how precious that was to me and what it got me through... I -"

Finn stopped her hysteria mid sentence by smiling and inexplicably getting up again and walking back to her closet.

"Where are you going?" she called out to him, reaching for the tissue.

This time the bag he returned with said "Personal Belongings of: Rachel Berry."

"What's that?" she asked, still wiping tears.

"The bag of your stuff they gave me the night I got to the hospital. I sent it home with Kurt and forgot all about it until now," he said as he removed her bloodied clothing. He swallowed hard, his breath stopped and he looked sick for a second and then he felt her hand on his.

"I made it. I'm right here," she said, comforting him in his unspoken thoughts. He stroked her cheek, smiled a weak smile, and nodded before continuing his search. When he pulled his hand out of the bag this time, a silver chain with a sparkling diamond ring hanging from it was dangling from his fingers.

Rachel's hands flew to her mouth as she continued to cry silently. "Thank God," she whispered. She reached out and took it from him, fisting her fingers over it and holding it to her heart with her eyes closed. She opened her eyes and stared into her hand at the symbol of love that he had given her while on one knee.

"What do you want to do with it?" he asked, genuinely curious to know the answer.

"I want to wear it," she said quietly, looking him directly in the eye.

Finn nodded and took the long chain from her. His large fingers fumbled with the clasp and he moved his arms around to fasten it behind her neck.

"Not there," she said and moved her head to catch his eye again.

He gave her an inquisitive look and dropped his hands to her shoulders, the ends of the chain still in them. "What do you mean?" he asked, knowing but needing to hear her say the words.

"Finn, look," she said as she reached up to take his hands from her shoulders and hold them in her lap,  
"I have almost married you twice. Now, I think that after all of this we can both admit that we are nowhere near ready to get married. But, I know with every thing I am that one day I will be your wife. I am just as sure about that as I am about singing to a sold out crowd at the Gershwin Theatre. And, I don't care how long I have to wear this ring before we share a last name. I want it right back where you put it the first time. I want other people to know I'm yours and yours only. Forever. No pressure. No setting a date. No damn trains," she looked at him pointedly and he hung his head, looking back up at her with a sheepish grin. She giggled a little, glad they could laugh about it now. "This is just a promise between us that nobody runs ever again."

"God, I love you," he said, his lips collapsing on to hers. He laid her back down underneath him and let his lips show her how much. He took his time, tasting her, teasing her, getting lost in her. When he finally pulled back so he could see her face, she held her hand out to him primly with an expectant look on her face. He smiled the smile of a ten year old boy getting exactly what he wanted on Christmas morning. Finn slid the tiny ring onto Rachel's finger and kissed it into place. Both of them stared at her hand with near reverence. Then returned their eyes to each other's. He slowly began his descent back onto her waiting lips.

"Is anyone naked in there?" Kurt called from the hallway, interrupting the moment yet again.

Finn dropped his head in frustration before turning his head toward the door. "Yep!" Finn called out. "Sweaty and out of breath, too. As a matter of fact I'm still-"

"Shut up, Finn. Don't be disgusting," Kurt said as he entered, knowing his brother was full of it. "Well, I see you weren't lying about the naked part." Kurt rolled his eyes disdainfully as he grabbed a T shirt that was hanging out of Finn's bag and threw it to Rachel. She obligingly put it on much to Finn's utter and very apparent disappointment.

"How can we help you, Kurt?" Rachel asked her friend and kissed the pout off of Finn's face, and ran a hand through his hair when he dropped his head onto her shoulder.

"I was simply going to ask if the two of you would like to disentangle long enough to see a show later today. Maleficent decided to be less of a reptile and offered me four tickets to see Once and I thought may-"

Rachel's squeal answered his interrupted thought. "YES! Yes, yes, yes, yes yes!"

"I don't need a replay of last night, Rachel, but I assume your zeal means you'd like to go."

Rachel blushed at his insinuation and threw one of her decorative pillows at him. "It's not funny, Finn!" she said to the man laughing into her shoulder.

"Sorry, Babe," he said through his chuckles. "Seriously, that sounds great, Kurt. Thanks."

Kurt crawled into the bed between them. Putting an arm around his brother and his soul mate best friend. He looked back and forth between them with a smile on his face. Finn furrowed his brow at the intrusion. Rachel gave him eskimo kisses. "Look at us. Doesn't seem like too long ago we were standing in that choir room opening letters that sealed our fates. And now look at us. We made it and we are here together. This is just bliss." Rachel laid her head on his shoulder.

Finn spoke up. "That was nice. It's good to be here, little brother," he said with a smile. "But, if you don't get out of our bed, I'm gonna just hop over you and finish what I was starting before you came in here whether you're here or not."

In a flash, Kurt was at the door way. "Carry on if you must. Curtain is in two hours." He turned to leave but turned back around. "And for God's sake, keep it down. It upsets my sensibilities to listen to it." Then, he was gone. The door was closed. And Finn, crept back across the bed to Rachel.

"That was kind of rude, don't ya think?" Rachel said with a sly smile, bringing her arms up to rest around his neck.

"Nope. Rude would have been doing just what I said I was going to do," his answer muffled against the side of her neck. She tilted her head to the side to give him a bigger playground.

"Finn?" she asked, a little breathless.

"Hmmm?" was his response.

"I love you, too," she whispered.

This only served to intensify his movements and it wasn't long before they lay there, the same sweaty tangled up mess they were when they woke up.

Who knew when Finn received the call that took ten years off of his life that that would be what it took to bring them back together. But, he didn't really care at all how it happened, just that it finally did. He had finally found his place and it was right back where he started. In her arms. And, though he had no idea what the future held for them beyond this moment, he knew he'd never have to wake up wanting her again. She'd be there. She was his right now. She was his forever. She was his.


End file.
